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« Kun is a Racial Slur | Main | No Greasy Fingernails »
Wednesday
Oct312007

Halloween

I love Halloween because women dress like sluts.

It's the one day out of the year that every woman believes she is justified dressing like a slut. Some dress like sluts every day of the year, some dress like sluts occasionally, but others only dress like sluts on Halloween. Halloween is when the ratio of slutty-dressed women to non slutty-dressed women is at its highest.

Most everyone dressed up for work today. I did not, because I believe wearing a costume for Halloween is for kids and women who want to dress like sluts. Men usually don't have an interest, unless they are going to a costume party to pick up on slutty-dressed women.  

Women do not think they are dressed slutty. They refer to it as "sexy" not "slutty".  

Blair dressed like a sexy pirate. Brandi dressed like a sexy nurse. Melanie dressed like a sexy bar maid. Lucia dressed like a sexy stewardess. Shannon dressed like a sexy vampire. Athena dressed like a sexy Lesbian vampire. Wheels dressed like a sexy hooker. And Allison dressed like a sexy slut; not sure what she was, nor do I think she knew. But it was very very "sexy".

As I mentioned, guys usually don't have an interest in dressing up unless it's going to get them laid. However, all my friends seem to love Halloween dress-up. Conklin dressed like a Hell's Angeles biker, but they wouldn't let him in the building. Gladstone dressed like a bottle of Rum because his wife made the outfit and forced him to wear it. Petrizzo dressed like Michael Corleone, which is exactly how Petrizzo dresses daily; he got pissed when nobody could guess who he was dressed like.

Senior management did not dress up because they have no holiday spirit, which is yet another reason everyone believes I am a member of the senior management team.

I will be getting a brief physical from a sexy nurse shortly. The thing I love about Halloween the most is when I get candy...

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