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« Socks and Other Accounting Issues | Main | Half-Days »

The Urinal Test Prevails!

The Friday after Thanksgiving is always dead which is why I like to be here. It gives me plenty of time to do less than I usually do, which is already almost nothing.

Conklin stopped by in the morning to brag about his new iPhone. I used to have a Treo 750, but got tired of people calling it a Blackberry, so I switched to a Blackberry Titanium Curve 8310 so that when people called it a Blackberry, it would actually be a Blackberry. His iPhone was impressive, so I asked if I could hold it. He proudly handed it over, after which I casually rubbed it all over my crotch, then handed it back to him and said, "Enjoy."

Blair was not in today, nor was Wheels. Both Brandi and Melanie were in but have distanced themselves from me since the unintended failed attempted suicide. I think they both worry that I might attempt suicide again in their presence. If they are somehow connected to my demise, it would not bode well for their committed relationships.

Lucia was also in, but also avoiding me. This is because she found out I had drinks with Athena the Lesbian. She doesn't know that Athena is the Greek kind of Lesbian, but it still bothers her that I had drinks with her. She believes I'm trying to get a threesome going, but Lucia does not want to have a threesome with a lesbian. Not because she thinks it would be cheating on her husband, because again, this would not be traditional intercourse. But because it would be immoral. Now that she's attending Mulhausen's Bible Study, she has a whole new set of rules.

I had absolutely nothing to do. After lunch I went to the bathroom and went to the first urinal. Now you'd think, given it was Dead Friday, I'd be able to take a piss in peace. But instead, Kun  came in and walked straight to urinal  number two. Given he was new and this was Dead Friday, I just had to say something:

"You just broke rule number one of men's room etiquette."

Kun looked at me oddly.

"The only rule I know about is that you don't talk to another man taking a piss."

"That's rule number two.  If you hadn't broken rule number one, I wouldn't have broken rule number two. And how the hell do you not know about rule number one?"

"I went to school in Korea. They didn't teach us that one."

"I went to school in the U.S. and they didn't teach us that one either. It's instinctual. You're a man, you know it."

"Who cares. I mean, what are you worried about?"

"We look like a couple."


That's when Petrizzo walked in. He stopped short behind us.

"Whoa, sorry. I'll take one of the stalls and let you two piss together in peace."

Kun and I both finished up, walked over to the sink area, washed our hands, dried them and walked out.

Outside the bathroom before parting ways Kun muttered: "Won't happen again" and walked away.

The Urinal Test finally prevails!

Well, that's it. That's all I've got. That was the most interesting thing that happened all day.  

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