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Less Painful than Expected

Blair stopped by my office today. She had a sweet smile on her face, so I immediately knew she hated me again. She obviously found out about my conversation with Kornfeld. Blair does not like to let the cat out of the bag right away. She likes to see if she can catch me in a lie so that her condemnation can be that much more fervent.

"I was thinking," she said. "If you really need the extra money in the training budget for legitimate business reasons, I shouldn't deny you the increase just because you can't answer a simple question."

I knew what was coming, and since Kornfeld already took care of the issue and I was not sitting in the six hour Outlook Calendar training class which was going on at this very moment, I decided to see how long Blair could maintain her fake sweet demeanor.  

"Well," I said. "I actually did answer the question. You just didn't like the answer."

I could see a wave of irritation roll over her face, but she held her smile all the same.

"Regardless," she said. "I want to be supportive. So do you still need the increase?"

This was her moment. She wanted to see how I handled the answer. How much of a lie or a spin would I put on it? So I decided to be straight.

"Nope, don't need it," I said. "Kornfeld already gave me the increase."

You could tell I had ruined her nasty little plan, so she unleashed all her fury now.

"After I said no, you went around my back to Kornfeld?"

"Nope," I said. 

She stopped, not really expecting any sort of lie at this point. That was the key to lying to Blair. When you place a lie outside the zone she expects a lie to emerge, you're home free.

"Nope?" she asked.

"That's right," I said. "Smithee went around your back. I just told him we didn't get the budget increase. He went to Kornfeld on his own."

Her reaction was beautiful. It was like watching a heat seeking missile heading straight for you, then suddenly picking up more heat in another location and spinning of after that target instead.

As she turned and walked out of my office (no doubt to go yell at Smithee, who unfortunately would not be in his office), I confirmed our appointment:

"7:00 back rub?"

She didn't answer, but we're on. We're definitely on.

Reader Comments (12)

Jason, you are such a shithead, I love it !!!!!!!!

December 28, 2007 | Unregistered Commenteruserpool fan

I am learning a lot from you Jason! Hahahahah

Keep up the good work!

December 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Well played young man! Well played!!

December 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

You pulled it off well! You're the kinda' asshole women would love to hate, but there's something about you. Guess I like assholes=)

December 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRawDeal

Yes, assholes are very "in" right now. I try not to jump on the bandwagon too much with trends, but since I was born an asshole, I don't have a choice in this case. Being an asshole is more of a way of life for me than just a passing fad. And if I can inspire other assholes with my stories, then I feel I'm contributing something of value to society...

December 29, 2007 | Registered CommenterJason X

If there were an asshole of the year award, it would definitely go to you!!! Love it!

December 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSeriouslySpeaking

kenny leow avoid this ass at all cause as he will back stab u without u noeing it

office politics guy

December 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpin head

boss sucker also
small minded guy where he himself think he is good only. look down on others and the way talk like a boss but actuall a small fly in office, everyone say he do alot of mistake. dont know what mistake but i also think he did cock up alot

December 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpin head

alos hear he back stabb one of his colleague also

what a ass hole

December 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpin head

btw anyone here noes how to deal with this kind of ass in the office who back stabb other and also talk bad stuffs about oter in office?????

sick of it always hearing his ass storoies

December 30, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterpin head

Well Pin Head, I'd respond to you if I could understand you. You're either foreign or three years old or from Kentucky.

Okay, just kidding about the Kentucky part...

December 31, 2007 | Registered CommenterJason X

let's join our hands together to stop this kind of wrong doings. It may risk lives in the future if we just let them continue. cpzmvc cpzmvc - Birkin Bag Hermes.

December 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterxyimim xyimim

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