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« Dereliction | Main
Monday
Aug272007

Delegation

I hate Mondays. Most people who work at big corporations do. But this Monday was worse than most Mondays. It's the Monday Blair found out I cheated on her with my wife.  

Traffic this morning was crappy. But since I get most of my work done in the car going to and from the office every day, it was a very productive morning commute. A Blackberry is a beautiful thing. Because there's really no time during the day to get my job done. Not that I do anything anyway, because I don't. But although I don't do anything, I always get a lot done. I make sure everything that has to be done, gets done, but always by someone else. And if no one else has time to do it, I have my assistant Teri get it done. This intelligent, driven, enterprising young woman can do anything she stacks against her determination. She's completely overqualified for the position, but I always lead her to believe that she is inept and wholly incapable of meeting my expectations. On the surface, this might seem slightly cruel and demeaning, but the underlying intent, although no more compassionate, is extremely strategic on my part. The objective is to keep her challenged and unaware of her full potential so that she won't quit her mundane job to go do something more meaningful and rewarding. Good assistants are hard to find.

Back to Blair, that bitch. She called Telecom and said she was Teri and that I needed my voicemail password reset. Then she got into my voicemail and heard my wife's message. My wife didn't say anything incriminating, but her tone was playful. A woman knows that a wife's playful tone can only mean one thing. Explaining why I slept with my wife won't be an easy thing. Thank God Kristy didn't leave a message this morning... 

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