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Skeffington Hates Olive Drab

Presentations are critical in this company. Not the content, but the look and feel. People spend more time on graphics than the actual message they are trying to convey. The more graphics, the more applause; the more effects, the more ooohs and ahhhs. You do not necessarily learn anything about the company, its projects or its strategies, but you will most likely learn at least one new presentation trick or effect.

When presenting to Skeffington, the CEO, you can always count on one thing: he will make at least one comment about your use of the color green. Here are some simple rules to follow:

  1. Asparagus green makes him hungry. don't ever use it unless it's a lunch meeting.
  2. Bright green hurts his eyes; use it sparingly and only when you want him to miss the number, word, etc. (for example, you're over budget, so you highlight the total in bright green). 
  3. Camouflage green looks gray to him; don't use it otherwise he'll question why you didn't use green.
  4.  Emerald green makes him think of his wife and he quickly gets irritated; never use.
  5. Jungle green makes him think of his mistress and he quickly gets horny; careful with this one. While it makes him happy, you lose his concentration. Use only when you want to get through the presentation quickly.
  6. Lime green makes him squirm; use only as a distraction.
  7. Myrtle green disgusts him; anything in the presentation using myrtle will disgust him also.
  8. Hunter green and Forest green always confuse him; you spend more time debating whether it is hunter green or forest green than you spend time on the presentation.
  9. Olive drab is the worst possible green to use in a presentation with Skeffington. It reminds him of his mother.

Mulhausen does not understand these rules. He will be delivering a presentation to Skeffington next week and has asked me to put the presentation together for him. And of course, olive drab will be the dominant color.

Reader Comments (2)

Isn't Skeffington an English name? British racing green might make him feel uptight and snobby and say your presentation isn't good enough. Keep it light...

October 1, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterZZTA

Tea green would make him feel all warm inside. It's the wellness tea. You'd float through the presentation.

October 1, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBarry B

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