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« The Onshore Alternative | Main | The Special Project »
Wednesday
Jan092008

Tree Sex

I had sex with Blair in a tree last night.

Location, location, location. Much like buying a home, when you're having an affair, these are the three most important factors.

My office is equipped with a couch and a beautiful view of the city. Yet, Blair will not have sex with me at the office. Maybe she values her job or something equally ridiculous. Regardless, she's not down with it. Often, her husband is across town working late and we have free reign at her place for a couple of hours. Other times, we resort to car sex. She's not too fond of car sex either because it seems to cheapen the adultery. A sleazy motel is out of the question; it makes her feel like a hooker instead of just a plain slut. Finding the right location is very difficult. So often we end up at the park.

There's a little park near the office that's actually safe after dark with very few people roaming around. There's a nice picnic table by a tree which is half surrounded by bushes. The picnic table is made of some sort of metal which can be cold on your ass--but as you might imagine, everything warms up very quickly.

The tree's trunk splits about waist high and takes off in three directions forming a perfect little chair. Blair's ass fits into that spot nicely, although I doubt the bark feels good against her bare skin. Cold metal is one thing, but jagged bark? Anyway, she didn't complain. 

After tree sex, we sat on the picnic table and talked about meaningless bullshit at work. Then I brought up Smithee:

"He asked about you today," I said.

She perked up. I could tell she was trying to hide the fact that she had a little ball of excitement rolling up in her chest, but I ignored it. Whether she'd fuck the guy or not, I don't know. But she loves attention from good-looking guys. It's sexual harassment from anyone else.

"What did he ask?"

"He just wanted to know about you. And he asked..." I stopped short. "Nah, it'll just piss you off."

It was really cool seeing that ball of excitement shatter as her chest now sunk in and her face reddened. She already didn't like the sound of that. If I knew it would piss her off, she knew it would piss her off and she wanted to know immediately.

"What the fuck did that fuck ass say?" she belted out.

God, I love when she starts cussing like a sailor. And it's not like she has a vast vocabulary of vulgar words either. The word fuck is about all she uses. The more pissed off she gets, the more its frequency increases. Sometimes it's every word, using different combinations of verbs, nouns, and adjectives. I don't even know how that's possible, but she does it. And when she started last night, it made me want to just throw her right back in the tree and give her the old Woody Woodpecker treatment all over again.

"He asked if you were..." I said and let it linger.

She gave me the evil eye and let out a couple more fucks. I held back for a moment longer and then:

"He asked if you were an easy fuck."

Her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open just slightly. But she contained herself. The story wasn't over...

 "And you said?" she asked politely.

"I said no chance. I said you were married and 100% dedicated to your husband."

"Good, because I am," she said.

Just because she fucks me in a tree doesn't mean she's any less dedicated to her husband. She would never fuck anyone other than me outside her marriage. If she found somebody else, she would drop me.  That keeps it all legitimate.  

Blair steered clear of Smithee today because she needs time to settle down. Once she composes herself, she'll begin to plot. I don't know what the exact outcome will be, but it's like lighting a fuse. Sooner or later the bomb will go off and it's going to be very messy.  

With Fernandez helping Smithee, and Mulhausen and Blair plotting against him, he won't stand a chance.

Reader Comments (5)

Fun!!! How about the kids swing set? I can come up with a few ideas. Also consider public stair cases, open houses, public restrooms just to name a few. The feeling of almost getting caught heightens the experience. =)

January 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDirty Birdie

Well played. Smithee has to be loving this though, how cool would it be to be a porn star one day and in a high office position the next?

January 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Nice, seductive and sexy. Your plan of destruction is going perfectly and you're even gettin some out of it, :).

January 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Smithee has the best life ever... I almost feel bad I have to put an end to the corporate side. Almost...

January 10, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

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:)

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