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Fernandez Finds His Dick

Fernandez wants to fire me. But since he can't, he fired Valdez instead. 

Valdez is a PM on contract who works for Fernandez. Since I've been friendly with her, he decided to let her go in a real bitch move to emphasize the fact that although he can't fire me, he can fire someone.

He cannot fire me because Fessler, the CIO, likes me too much. Mulhausen has always wanted to fire me too, but could not for the same reason. Fessler likes me mainly because he hates both Mulhausen and Fernandez. The more he likes me, the more uneasy they feel. The more uneasy they feel, the more satisfied Fessler feels.

And although Mulhausen has wanted to fire me in the past, now that he knows Fernandez wants to fire me, Mulhausen has decided he wants to promote me. Since both Mulhausen and Fernandez also hate each other, they always try to do whatever they think will piss off the other the most.

Valdez was an extremely competent PM. Since Fernandez makes business decisions based on personal insecurities, he did not recognize the fact that letting his most competent PM go would be detrimental to the multi-million dollar project she was successfully running. 

When things go awry (and they will), he will find a way to blame someone else for this incompetent, bitch move. In fact, I'm sure he will find some way to blame me, even though I have absolutely nothing to do with this project. 

Fernandez is not telling anyone the reason he let his most competent PM go. Mainly because the real reason he let her go was because he can't fire me. You can't really offer that as a reason because, well, it doesn't make any sense. After the fact, he's been trying to uncover something incriminating he can use against her to justify his idiotic decision to let her go. So he's scanning her computer for porn, love letters, and/or evidence of corporate espionage.

He didn't find anything.

Since he has not given a reason for his idiotic decision to let his most competent PM go, people are speculating on the reason. Here are the top five reasons:

  1. He's an idiot.
  2. She rejected his advances.
  3. She didn't reject his advances and he's now finished with her (although it's a top rumor, not many people by into it. She doesn't fit the profile).
  4. Now that he's off Special Projects, he figured it was time to start shooting himself in the foot so that he can be relegated back to Special Projects where he doesn't have to do any work again.
  5. He's an idiot.  
Valdez has been out of work for one day and she's already had two interviews that both look very promising at almost twice the pay.

When a man finds his dick, he's usually done something manly. When a man makes a bitch move, it's very difficult to find his dick.

It was very difficult for Fernandez to find his dick this morning for two reasons. You know the first; I'm sure you can guess the second. 

Reader Comments (1)

That's Corp Politics at it's best! Good thing you're on the winning side.

October 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech-Babe

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