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« Cleaning the Pipes | Main | Fernandez Finds His Dick »
Tuesday
Oct142008

Blair Meets Maricruz

Today I was sitting in haunted conference room 3402 with Blair across from me on the left and Maricruz across from me on the right.

That was exhilarating.

I anticipated this meeting happening sooner or later, but I had put it off as long as I could. International Marketing had shown interest in our International Licensing system, but adding their module has a Financial impact.

Maricruz represents International Marketing and Blair represents Finance. And I, unfortunately, represent the application.

When I could delay the meeting no longer, I scheduled it in conference room 3402, which is rumored to be haunted. I, of course, started that rumor so that nobody would book the room so that it would always be available for me to book.

I thought maybe the rumor would scare off either Blair or Maricruz or both. It scared off neither.

While Blair was not aware of the existence of Maricruz, Maricruz most definitely was aware of the existence of Blair. She was first alerted to Blair's existence by Faudeux with his failed cock block attempt. However, when Blair's tits were spying on me for half a day a few weeks back, Maricruz could not help but notice and suspect something was up after all.  

When Blair met Maricruz in the meeting for the first time and found out that Maricruz works on my floor, she squinted her eyes slightly and gave me the fuck you look. From this moment forward, the meeting was completely derailed.

Blair believes that if I do not disclose the fact that there is a hot woman working close to me, I must be hiding something. However, if I disclose that a hot woman is working close to me, I'm already guilty because I'm admitting that I think she's hot. I cannot win.

Blair quickly became the interrogator. No longer was this meeting about developing an international marketing module within the licensing application; it was about breaking Maricruz, getting a full confession of foul play, and handing Blair the evidence that I'm cheating on her--the woman with whom I'm having an adulterous affair.

Blair started out with subtle seemingly friendly just want to get to know you questions about the work environment that had hidden meaning, like: "Do you like working here?"

Maricruz was no idiot. But you could tell by the look on her face that she was having a difficult time interpreting the hidden meaning. Was Blair asking in a catty way, "Do you like working here because you like fucking Jason?"; or was this some sort of threat like, "I could get you fired faster than you can answer that question," or "As much as you like working here, I could make every day a living hell for you." 

Maricruz simply responded, "Sure."

Blair considered the answer as if she were tabulating a score in her head. Then she quickly moved to the more blunt, personal questions laced with accusation.

Blair: "Are you married?"

Maricruz: "Yes. Are you?"

Touche.

Blair: "What do you do for fun? You know, when you're not home with your husband."

Maricruz: "What? Why?"

Blair: "Well, maybe we could hang out sometime. I know some cool places for happy hour."

Ah, the old take-you-under-my-wing-so-I-can-use-you-to-get-the-information-I-need-to-hang-Jason-X trick. 

Again, Maricruz is no idiot. You could see the wheels turning as she considered the offer.

Maricruz: "Sure, that sounds like fun."

Yep, the old let-you-take-me-under-your-wing-so-I-can-use-you-to-get-the-information-I-need-to-hang-Jason-X trick.

Well, we didn't accomplish much in the meeting from a business perspective, but these two left the meeting brand spanking new BFFs. And they became BFFs for all the normal reasons women do so:

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

Sun-tzu
Chinese general & military strategist (~400 BC)

Reader Comments (8)

Ouch! That charade can only last so long between chicks. Especially two chicks fucking around with the same dude. I know you know this Jason, but be careful with this situation. Women have a keen sense of smell. (In the least, fuck with each of them a minimum of 3 days apart.)

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Hmmm. The 3 day rule. I guess I've had it wrong all this time. I always thought it was the 3 hour rule...

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Jason,

Forget the rules... Fuck each one of them now... After Friday, it will be pain and ice packs...

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLenore

The ice pack is chilling in the freezer as we speak. And yes, I'm packing in as many as I can...

October 15, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Ah the old "let's do happy hour sometime"...

What better way to get into someones head by gaining their trust over cheap eats and booze.

When girls gambit with a friendly date of happy hour that means they feel threatened.

Watch out for Blair that is a scandalous move as if you didn't already know.

Good luck tomorrow.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJordan

You're so right. I never trust a thing Blair does. There's always an underlying reason behind everything she does--and it usually has to do with catching me cheating on her. Although, technically, I really can't cheat on the person I'm cheating with...

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Three day rule?!? That's too long. Don't listen to that, Jason!

October 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

I think Maricruz is my favorite user minus the crazy ass husband thing...

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

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