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« Fernandez is a Playa | Main | How to Make a Good Mai Tai »
Wednesday
Oct012008

How to Join PETA and Still Eat Meat

Tefft joined PETA online today because she believes tuna fish is fattening.

And although she joined PETA, she eats more meat than she did before. The reason she eats more meat is because she now eats less fish.

Tefft believes tuna fish is fattening because tuna salad is fattening. Tuna salad is fattening because of the mayo, not the tuna fish.

I do not think Tefft knows what PETA actually stands for. While she does believe in treating animals ethically and she would never harm an animal herself, she sees no harm in eating something that is already dead. How it got that way is not her concern.

Pangbourn has not joined PETA, but he has become a vegetarian. The reason he has become a vegetarian is because he believes animals are trying to kill us by letting us eat them.

He believes animals are trying to poison us with Trichinosis, Brucelosis, Tularemia, E Coli, and of course Mad Cow Disease. And although he believes we should kill animals, he will not eat them. The only way to protect ourselves from this rampant yet subversive attack on human life is to become a vegetarian and not give those murderous animals the satisfaction of letting us eat them.

I am proud of the fact that so many people at my company are taking a stand and becoming so very ethical.

Regardless of a person's views on eating meat, people seem to be unanimously offended by the fact that I like eating steak with ketchup.

Reader Comments (13)

Do you put bacon in your tuna salad?


Not gonna lie, I'm pretty high. But I'm pretty sure I've tried it before and it was awesome.

October 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZorro

All the women in the office are offended every time I walk into the office with a dbl/dbl from In N' Out while they're having salads. They're not vegetarians, as it turns out, though that's all I ever see them eating, but nor are they PETA supporters. They are, however, FAT.

October 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech-Babe

Zorro: Yeah, bacon is great with just about anything.

Tech Babe: I suspect the salad is only for show. At night, they devour flesh, I'm sure.

October 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

MMM...In N' Out...I really wish they would expand that chain here to the East Coast. I could really go for a double double right now.

October 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Double double? I have no idea what that is but it sounds glorious.

October 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

In n' out is a quickie in your office and a double double is two in one day. Are we talking about the same thing?

October 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

If we are not, we should be.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

I eat steak with ketchup. I never knew there was supposed to be something wrong with that.

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Winter, people just don't have an appreciation for ketchup like we do.

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Ketchup is almost as disgusting as vegetarianism. But not quite.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

What???? I can't even comprehend the first comment (second I can see...).

October 6, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

YUMM steak with ketchup.. altho here its mainly called tomato sauce.. Its a must with steak and even chips.. like lemon is with seafood.. I dont know if BBQ sauce can still be called ketchup but thats tasty with BBQ steak too. mmm :)

April 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiz Helena

I am appalled by eating steak with ketchup and don't get me wrong I absolutely love ketchup. Do not have you steak cooked more than medium and you wouldn't need the stupid ketchup.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

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