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« A Wiener from Fucking Austria | Main | SOX Lite »
Monday
Oct272008

Lunch with Lissa and Her Tits

I had lunch today with Lissa the SOX auditor. I noticed her double Ds speak very loudly, even in public. 

Some tits talk softly. Some tits don't talk at all (but that's rare). Some tits talk dirty (like Giselle's perky tits from the vendor lunch). But Lissa's tits are big and loud.

I couldn't hear Lissa speak because her double Ds were so in-my-face blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to smack them. And I'm pretty sure they said they wanted to smack me.

At one point Lissa's double Ds became offended because I wouldn't look at them while I was speaking to them. This sort of thing always puts me in somewhat of a predicament with women. This is because women do not like it when you speak to their breasts. They find it rude. On the other hand, breasts also find it rude when you won't look at them even though you are speaking directly to them.  

And when tits are this loud, it's difficult to ignore them. 

I decided to speak to both Lissa and her double Ds at the same time so as not to create confusion, jealousy or ill-will. So instead of just staring at one or the other, I let my eyes "work the room" so to speak.

Surprisingly, they all seemed to enjoy that. No one was offended and everyone felt special. Like I was interested in all of them, not just the tits and not just Lissa. 

By the end of the lunch, there was no more talk of SOX but a clear committment to have a drink after work sometime. All three of us.

Sometime very soon. 

I like this new strategy they have with the SOX auditors. They definitely have my attention.

 

Reader Comments (1)

Nothing like Double D's that stare at you... I know. My kid's stare at me. Unfortunately, they're they are also laughing at my C's when they do it. *sigh*

October 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

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