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« BFFs | Main | Earthquake Preparedness »
Monday
Nov172008

Sleeping with the Enemy

Gladstone is still fucking Fiona the Cunt.

This is not something he would admit to me, even though he always feels the need to confess when he's had sex with a woman at work with whom he's embarassed to admit he's had sex. The reason he is embarassed to admit he's had sex with a woman at work is usually because he does not think the woman is very hot. But the opportunity arose, so he took it. He feels guilty that he had sex with a woman he does not think is very hot, and therefore feels compelled to unburden his conscience by unloading that guilt by confessing to me. 

But in the case of Fiona the Cunt, he is not embarassed to admit he's had sex with her because she's actually really fucking hot. However, he is embarassed to admit he's had sex with her because she's my mortal enemy.

If not for the park incident, I would never have known about their little trist.

Now, I can certainly understand fucking someone who thinks they're going to use you to get information, but in fact, you're just using them to get laid and they'll get no information.

However, Gladstone is a one fuck player. Once he scores, he's done. But for some reason, he keeps fucking Fiona the Cunt. That means, she's doing something he can't get just anywhere. This is bothersome. If she can keep his interest, she's got a shot at actually getting something in return.

Now Gladstone is a good friend. But a man has no loyalty to his friend when there's pussy on the line. And his friend doesn't really expect loyalty from a man when there's pussy on the line. So I don't blame Gladstone. I blame pussy. 

Pussy can be blamed for many things. For example, I blame pussy for:

  • Global warming
  • Viet Nam and Iraq
  • Soaring gas prices and higher taxes
  • Stock Market crash
  • The collapse of the mortgage industry
  • The collapse of the Roman empire
  • Bad television
  • Myspace

All of this shit can be tied back to pussy. Usually some dude trying to impress a woman so that he can get pussy. And then some bad shit happens as a result and we all pay the price for that pussy. 

I know the female readers won't be too happy about this opinion I have, but if you think about it--why do you usually get pissed off at your man?

Some other pussy. 

All this just means I need to get Gladstone away from Fiona the Cunt. And what's the best way to get a man away from pussy? 

New pussy.

I'm not sure where I'm going to find this new pussy, but there's plenty out there. I just hope it's not too late...

Reader Comments (4)

You can start by digging through your archived User Pool files. But you'd have to be willing to release them.

November 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Good idea. There's a few I don't see anymore that might fit the bill...

November 18, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

You should also focus on finding out what she is doing that is so special. You may throw buckets full of pussy at Gladstone, but if their special isn't as good as Fiona's special, well then you have worthless efforts.

November 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

Good point Nnamdi. Usually Gladstone provides lots of details. But in this case, he doesn't like talking about it because he knows I hate her. I'll grill him for the goods. You're right, I need to know what I'm up against...

November 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

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