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« Gladstone's Dilemma | Main | BFFs »
Friday
Nov212008

Sex with Interns

My intern wants to have sex with me.

I do not have sex with direct reports. I can dig my way out of a lot of shit, but that one just carries way too much risk. 

Although Chelsea the Intern reports directly to me, she does not technically work for the company. Everyone assumes she is my intern, but in reality, she's a prostitute and I'm her pimp.

Not many companies have a prostitute working the building. It's certainly a perk. Unfortunately, that's not a benefit that can be mentioned during the recruiting process.

But whether I'm her boss or her pimp, technically the rule still stands: no sex with direct reports.

Other things to consider:

  • On the one hand, she's a prostitute.
  • On the other hand, she only gives handjobs.

She reminds me of Blendi when she was a virgin. If we were to hook up, I'd be going the road less travelled.

So today she came into my office and asked when we were going to hook up. I didn't quite get her meaning. I told her that I don't pay for sex and that I can give myself a hand job.

She leaned over my desk, her melons nearly falling out of her blouse, then she licked her lips and said:

"Can you give yourself a blow job?"

I felt drool gathering. I raised an eyebrow and said:

"No, I can't.... Not that I haven't tried."

"I'm not asking you to pay," she said. "I'm just asking you to fuck me."

I told her I'd think about it. That's right. That's what I said. She's young, hot, and sexual. And I said I'd think about it.

"Think hard," she said. "I'm sure you'll come to a decision quickly."

She turned around and walked out and her perky little ass seemed to be saying, "Fuck me you idiot, fuck me..."

Well, her ass has a point. Why wouldn't I? Just because she's a fake direct report? Maybe I'm just paranoid. I mean, a woman doesn't just walk up to you and ask you to fuck her. Well, unless she's a prostitute. Which, of course, she is...

I've got some time to think about it. Maybe next week. I'm having sex with Blair tonight. I can have sex with my intern next week. I mean, if that's what I decide to do.

What a troubled life I lead.

Reader Comments (7)

Isn't that what interns are for? GO FOR IT!

November 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Tech Babe makes an excellent point.

November 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Duchess

I had a very similar proposition at work. Good thing she works in a different department. I took her up on it and now we try to make it at least a weekly thing. Good times.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

It probably is a bad idea, but hey a great man I just made up once said..."Interns need lovin' too".

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

Sometimes I feel the need to pretend like I might actually use sound judgment and restraint. But you all know what's going to happen. So I guess I'll have sex with the hot intern...

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Good thing you have your loyal readers to set you straight when you try to use that devil's magic called morals and logic.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

Haha, don't worry. I can never be corrupted by morals. The guilt would be too much.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

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