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« The Jason X Shining | Main | T'was the Nightmare Before Xmas »

Home Alone

I'm home alone.

I do not like being home for the holidays because there is nothing to do. I love being at the office because there is always something to do at work other than work. Work is entertainment, home is a job. And not an easy one.

I'm alone right now, which is both good and bad. Good because there's nobody here. Bad because when I'm bored and there's nobody here, I tend to look for entertainment. This is bad because I do not do the normal things people do to entertain themselves.

Entertaining myself at home is very dangerous. Entertaining myself at work is not dangerous, even though I entertain myself by doing things that should get me fired. I cannot be fired because the company at which I work is run by idiots.

Idiots do not fire people they should fire, they fire people they should not fire. This makes me feel safe and secure and therefore, I do things to entertain myself at work that should get me fired but never will.

If I were to start acting responsibly at work they would fire me for sure.

But at home, it's a different story.

If I were to do the things at home that I do at work to entertain myself, my wife would divorce me for sure. I do not want to get divorced because then I would no longer be able to do the things at work that entertain me either.

If I were to become single, users like Blair would also want to become single so that we could become married.

As long as I'm married, I can never become single so that I can become married again.

There are other reasons I stay married which are personal and not for this blog. This blog is about my work life, not my personal life. And even though work seems very personal, I assure you it's all business.

But the bottom line is, I'm home alone bored and that is not a good thing.  

I like Xbox, but I don't like playing alone. I like porn, but porn makes me think of my User Pool and prompts me to entertain myself with users which is a bad thing to do from home.

I keep getting text messages from users who need assistance.

Yes, I can go out and meet them. And I have, at night. But the day is different. There is no work until Jan. 5, and I never do anything outside the home during the day except "work". That's just the way it is. So if I do start doing things during the day that are not work, it will raise suspicion. This is how things become dangerous at home. When I try to entertain myself by doing things I do to entertain myself at work.

But if I don't, I will go insane.

Maybe one little visit won't hurt...

Reader Comments (5)

Wow. You're confused. And confusing. Yet lucid. And insane. Partly truth, partly fiction. A walking contradiction. Don't shoot me.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDetective Donnie Woodcock

You said it man. I wouldn't shoot the messenger. Great alias, by the way.

December 27, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Makes me think you have such the boring home life. Tell the wife you are going to the mall to people watch.

And I'm only trying to enable you so that I can continue to live vicariously through you. Want to switch lives?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterdaNanner

Weren't we supposed to meet for a hot dog today at some point?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

In response to Detective Donnie Woodcock: Jason X is a conundrum wrapped in an enigma...or is it an enigma wrapped in a conundrum...? Either way, he's good at ruffling your feathers...

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFar

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