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« Sick | Main | Conklin's Slutty Wife »
Tuesday
Feb052008

How to Keep Conklin's Mouth Shut

Since I can't talk to Conklin without his slutty wife talking to Blair, I had Gladstone do the talking for me.

Conklin did not know that his slutty wife threatened me and told me never to speak with him again. Misinformation is key to manipulation. Half-truths are golden. Remember that.

I had Gladstone tell Conklin that his slutty wife stopped by my office and yelled at me for trying to get him to deflower Blendi the Virgin. He made sure that Conklin knew that I now know that he tells his slutty wife everything, which is why I will never speak to him again.

This will drive Conklin nuts because trust and loyalty are now being called into question. Which, ironically, is why he tells his slutty wife everything. But now, the only way I can trust him again is if he tells his slutty wife nothing.

Trust is the thing Conklin values the most even though it's the thing his slutty wife values the least. But since Conklin's slutty wife knows this about Conklin, she trusts him more than anyone. Gladstone let Conklin know that I now trust him the least because he tells his slutty wife everything. He will become obsessed with making me trust him more by not telling his wife anything, even though this might make her trust him less.

Once Conklin becomes obsessed with something, he will not lose focus until he gets it. As long as he's obsessed, I won't have to worry about his slutty wife. However, once he knows he has my full trust again, I will no longer be able to trust him. Which is why I will always lead him to believe that I will never fully trust him again. That way, I can fully trust him again.

Once I trust him because he believes I don't trust him, I can talk to him again without fear of his slutty wife finding out and then blabbing to Blair.

This is just the first step. Then I'll convince him to murder his slutty wife. Simple, huh? 

Reader Comments (3)

Masterful!

February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Dude your strategy is starting to sound like a chicks. Just man up and get the Virgin done, there are advantages of being, “the one”. Years of holding out has probably created a curiosity in her to try everything under the sun, think of how fun that would be?!

February 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

Josh, I couldn't agree with you more. However... Every woman I sleep with at work is a gamble. I'm talking about their emotional stability. But a virgin is a sure thing. In other words, it's absolutely certain that if I'm "the one" things will go horribly bad at some point. Have you ever had a woman at work come into your office and start sobbing uncontrollably? It ain't enjoyable.

Remember office politics Rule Number 4 and the subrule: "Never fuck around with anyone who doesn't have just as much to lose as you do." A virgin is the worst kind of woman to sleep with because she's just lost the most important thing in her life and you took it from her. You wrong that woman and retribution will be at best merciless and at worst, 100% psychotic.

I don't disagree: nailing a virgin would be spectacular. But not at work. I have rules for a reason. I survive because I follow these rules. Granted, I have a very high luck ratio because I do make stupid decisions often and tend to get away with it. But once I realize the risk of being that stupid, I usually make a rule and don't ever make that mistake again.

Conklin would be perfect for the task though. It'll be a one-time thing for both of them. Then I'll fuck the shit out of her.

February 6, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

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