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« Happy Monday | Main | How to Murder Your Friend's Wife »
Friday
Feb292008

Aunt Flo

We're still waiting for Aunt Flo to come visit. She's been out of town for over a month now and she'sAunt%20Flo.jpg well overdue to make an appearance. I swear to God that ugly bitch better show her face soon or I'm going to lose my shit.

The problem with Aunt Flo is that she always seems to show up when you least expect or want her to show up. Then everything just turns in to a big mess. And nobody ever tells you Aunt Flo is visiting until it's already too late. It would be nice if you were given the option of coming over or not based on the fact that Aunt Flo was already there. You know, something like, Hey, Aunt Flo is here, are you sure you want to come over?  Even then, it's not that easy to say, No, I'm going to delay my visit by a week and wait until Aunt Flo leaves town again. So I guess, either way, you're stuck.

And when you're seeing multiple people, somehow and for some reason, everyone's Aunt Flo starts showing up the same time every month. So even if you did want to pass on a visit because Aunt Flo was visiting one of them, chances are that Aunt Flo would be visiting the others too. So once again, you're stuck with that bitch either way.

Now in Blair's case, I want Aunt Flo to show up. If Aunt Flo shows up, I'm throwing her a big fucking party. If she doesn't show up after this weekend, I think we can pretty much count on the fact that she won't be showing up for at least another nine months. And after all the times I've cursed that bitch for showing up unexpectedly, I sure as fuck miss her now.  

Well, I'm heading out for the weekend. I can only hope and pray that Aunt Flo makes it in safely over the weekend. Otherwise, I'll be in a pretty bad mood on Monday. Have a good one. I know I won't...  

Reader Comments (7)

You misspelled Aunt Flow a few times. Have fun. You doing anything interesting this weekend? Doubt it since Blair isn't... available...

February 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Thanks man. Should be "Flo"... I wish she'd show up, damn that bitch... By the way, I never have anything interesting happen on the weekend. I'm married. Life begins Monday morning and ends Friday night. Tonight I just threw in the towel. No motivation to do anything with anyone. I'd probably just end up impregnating another woman...

February 29, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Awww you poor didums. Life's a bitch and Mother Nature is one too. Blair should have swollowed!

March 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Flo

Too funny. How did I never know this blog existed? I'll be back.And I'm linking to you. I HAVE to read this everyday! My soul is laughing so hard, it's demanding another installment.

March 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Glad you like it, Winter. Welcome! My life entertains me, I figured it might entertain others as well...

March 2, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Speaking of Aunt Flo...=/

And I'm crossing every crossable body part for you Jason. This is the last thing you need (I'm guessing anyway)...

March 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

I hate Aunt Flo. I'm looking forward to the day she passes on.. and then Aunt H. Flash will move in.

Ugh.

March 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheMrs

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