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I was pleased to find the people at the office in Madrid were much less German than the people in thelarge_kathy.jpg office in Berlin. In fact, they were not German at all. Nothing against Germans; there's just something about people who eat a lot of sausage that makes me uncomfortable.

Mulhausen was surprised to find that the Spanish speak Mexican. I told him it was because the Mexicans conquered Spain in 1603.

Most of the people spoke both English and Spanish, but I could understand neither. I couldn't understand their Spanish because I don't understand Spanish. Although Blair sometimes says chinga tu madre, and I know that has something to do with my mother. And one time a hot Peruvian woman I went out with told me no means no in Spanish. I was glad to hear that, because no usually means yes in English. 

And I didn't understand their English because they spoke too fuckin' fast. It sounded like this: Lalalalalalalalalalalalala Christopher Columbus. I swear to God, they kept throwing that in my face. I said, Christopher who? They said, We no say nothing about Christopher anyone. Yeah right. I told them to slow the English down; it's not meant to roll off the tongue like that. It's meant to be slow and uninteresting. They thought I was funny. The girls in the room giggled a lot.

And then Anna Maria walked into the meeting. When I looked up, my jaw dropped and my stomach clenched tight as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. She was beyond hot and had an angry, sexy look. The kind of face that bellowed:

I'm a major bitch and borderline cunt, but I fuck like a caged animal in heat. Oh, and by the way, you'll never come close to getting any from me in this life or the next.

I was immediately both repelled and insanely attracted to this woman. There's only one other female who has that effect on me.

Anna Maria, the Finance Manager for Spain, was an eerie mirror image of Blair

This fact made me very uncomfortable throughout the entire meeting. I was both amused and disgusted. But one thing was for sure: I had to fuck her.   

Turns out the Spanish take naps in the middle of the day. It's called a Siesta. The whole town shuts down after lunch so that everyone can snooze. Not everyone can do this because not everyone lives close to the office. So some people just take an extended break.

I asked Anna Maria if she wanted to take a nap back at my hotel room, since she lived too far away to go home. She gave me the Blair look: what the fuck are you up to? I smiled, just a joke lady. She shrugged her shoulders and said, Okay.

This is the thing I never understood about Blair. I suggest some of the most irrational, inappropriate shit just to fuck with her, and she agrees to it. Her twin, apparently, was no different.

As we were walking back to the hotel room, I wondered what the fuck was going on here. Are we going back to the hotel room to take a nap? Or is she going to fuck me? No way were we going to have sex. We just met a few hours ago, had a very serious business meeting where she gave me no indication she was even interested. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I thought she hated me, which is why I suggested she take advantage of my hotel room for nap time. I figured it would piss her off and I'd at least get some level of entertainment from igniting some fury in this woman. But instead, she took me at my word and there we were walking back to my hotel room. I had to assume she was really just going to take a nap.

We fucked for about an hour and a half.

I enjoyed Spain.

But I have another Blair on another continent. I don't know how that can possibly be a good thing.

Reader Comments (4)

Right, 'nap', that must be what it's for.

Are you going to France? I hear it's illegal to work more than 35 hours per week there.

March 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFishy5

I didn't go to France this time. But yes, their work week is shorter than 40 and mandatory. I think it's been changed from 35 to 36 now though. They needed a little more time during their work week to underachieve than they had originally thought.

March 20, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Ahhh, Spain. Gotta' love the siesta time! Although an extended lunch break could easily be considered 'siesta' time here in the states. So you should feel no loss here Jason. And you've managed to find yourself another Blair. Bet you can't wait to be sent off to Spain again!'re a riot!

March 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

There's nothing better than someone totally hot looking at you (and everyone else in the room) like you're a squid or something, and then getting to bang the crap of them.

March 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

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