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« From Bad to Worse | Main | Why Not Murder Your Wife? »
Monday
Mar312008

Conklin's Slutty Wife is Dead

Oops.

I guess that's all I can say at this point. It was an accident. I know, I know... I said I was going to help Conklin make it look like an accident. So I'm sure you don't believe me. But I swear it was an accident.

Even so, Conklin blames me. I know he does. I mean, if I hadn't come up with the idea of murdering his wife, she'd still be alive. But that's just stupid. Accidents happen, even when you're trying to kill someone.

Look, I'm just as shocked as anyone. Well, maybe not as shocked as Conklin's slutty wife. But I'm pretty overwhelmed. I mean, I suppose you could say, if I hadn't pretended to try to murder his wife, she would have been safe and sound in her home last night. But instead of blaming me for the accidental death of his wife, Conklin should be celebrating the act of God that killed his wife. It was meant to be. And it's a good thing.

After all, she was a slut.

Those words did not comfort Conklin. Nor did the gentle reminder that he was trying to murder her at the time of the accident.

He swears he wasn't going to go through with it. I believe him, since I also did not believe he would go through with it at the time. I mean, if I thought he'd really go through with it, I never would have convinced him to murder his wife. I honestly do not believe I could live with myself if I were responsible for murder.

An accidental death, I can live with.

Look, I'd like to go into the details, but I'm still a little shaken up myself. Maybe tomorrow.

Holy shit. Conklin's slutty wife is dead. 

Reader Comments (4)

No way...

Really?

No way.

March 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBlythe

U'r fucking kidding...right?

March 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Awesome! I can give you the name of a cool cemetery and mortuary. *EG*

March 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

WHAT THE HELL!?

March 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

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