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« Inject, Cut, and Burn | Main | Aunt Flo »

Happy Monday

I was happy to find out this morning that Blair took the pregnancy test over the weekend and confirmed that she was definitely pregnant with my baby. 

She walked into my office clutching a Venti Vanilla Latte and with a very stern expression announced that she was, in fact, big with my child. Which is why I immediately knew she was lying.

If Blair were really pregnant:

  • She would be weeping uncontrollably for at least a week straight
  • She would not be drinking coffee for fear of birth defects
  • She would not declare it was my child even though she believes my sperm is stronger than her husband's sperm

As I mentioned before, Blair would never make up something like this just to fuck with me. However, after the relief of finally getting her period, she would take advantage of the situation and test me.

Knowing this, I responded with the utmost sincerity telling her that I would "be there for her" no matter what she decided to do.

You could see that tiny sparkle in her eye and that rare sweetness that emerges from Blair every once in a blue moon; she smiled and confessed that she really wasn't pregnant and that she just wanted to see my reaction. I called her a little rascal and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Fuckin' bitch.

Regardless, the result of my reaction translates to crazy-ass, safe sex tonight with Blair. Sure, she's on her period, but it'll just be a blissful reminder of my latest reprieve from the gallows. 

One of these days it's going to get me though... 

Reader Comments (6)

Had me there for millisecond.

Fucking ass!

March 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Oh yeah, one more thing, Happy Monday, indeed! =P

March 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

I hate to say I told you so- No, wait, I love being able to say that. Good on you, man.

In the future, remember that there's only one type of sex that a girl can get pregnant from, which leaves a minimum of four other types at your disposal. Enjoy.

March 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVinny

I thought there were only 2 other ways to skin a cat... Apparently I'm not thinking far enough outside the box...

March 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I pretty curious about those other two myself.

March 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFishy5

In addition to the "pink" hole, there's the tongue, the "dark" hole, hands - yours and hers, and the always naughty titty fuck. Geez. Do we females have to tell you guys everything? *wink* There's prolly more, but I haven't had my Sumatra yet, so my brain is not engaged. Congrats re Blair, Jason!

March 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

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