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Finance Approval

Funding a project is an interesting process at my company. First off, the CER finance_300_rfpwo.jpg(Capital Expenditure Request) process takes forever just to put the proposal together. Once the proposal is finally put together, Finance must approve. And since Blair is responsible for my area, the already fucked up approval process is fucked up even more.

Here's how it goes:

  • Blair never approves funding for my projects while she's sleeping with me because she worries that someone will think she's sleeping with me.
  • The only way she'll approve funding of my projects is if she isn't sleeping with me.
  • She believes she is no longer sleeping with me when she is angry with me, even though she just slept with me the night before and will probably sleep with me again that same night.
  • Therefore, the only way to get approval for the funding of my projects is to make Blair angry at me just before I meet with her to get approval for the funding of my projects.

Here's the visual Flow Chart.

The quickest, easiest way to piss off Blair is to ignore her. I could be in a critical Executive Steering Committee meeting, but if I get an email from her on my Blackberry, I'd better respond within 10 minutes, or forget it.

Doesn't matter if she knows I'm in a meeting, if I don't respond right away, it must mean that I'm fucking someone else.

So when she sent me a message today, I ignored her completely, all the way up to our meeting. When I walked in, she was stone cold. She reviewed the proposal, asked a couple questions, and then approved.

When Blair is angry with me and no longer sleeping with me she always approves the funding of my projects because she doesn't want people to think she won't approve the funding for my projects because she's angry with me and no longer sleeping with me.

As fucked up as this is, you can always count on two things when it comes to Finance approval for the funding of my projects:

1. Blair will never approve the funding if she is not angry with me.

2. Blair will always approve the funding if she is angry with me.

The upside of this fucked up approval process is that I got my funding; the downside is that now I need to repair the damage.

Well, I think I'm finally going to hook up with Blendi the Unvirgin tonight. So I'll deal with it tomorrow.

At least I'm funded...

Reader Comments (4)

After careful review your process flow chart, it doesn't seem that bad if all you have to do is piss Blair off then have crazy mind-blowing make up sex a couple of nights later. What the hell are you complaining about Jason?!

April 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Not complaining. Not even saying the Blair approval process is difficult. Just pointing out that the process I need to go through to get funding is fucked up. But if it makes sense to you Tech-Babe... you're my kind of girl...

April 10, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

I dunno about fucked up. It just sorta parallels most of life really. I guess that means life is fucked up. Meh. As long as you get an orgasm out of it... it's all good.

April 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Haha, that's good. Men and women are so different. It just doesn't work. Except when we "uh-huh, uh-huh" together. Then it makes all the sense in the world...

April 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

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