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« Mulhausen's New Assistant | Main | Aho Made Fun of Mai Ding »
Friday
Apr182008

The 405

If you live in Southern California, you know what the 405 is. In California, we don't just refer to the405.jpg freeway with a number; we always add "the" before the number. So it's the 5, the 15, the 91, and of course, the 405.

I think we do this because these aren't just your average freeways; these are the worst fucking freeways in the goddamn world.

For example, rush "hour" on the 405 is approximately 8 hours a day in total during week days. From 6:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. and then from 3:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Fridays, rush "hour" lasts all freakin' day. Heading out of town, traffic starts backing up at noon.

I left work early today, around 2:00. I think the term people use to describe my freeway situation at that time is, parking lot.

I notice I swear a lot in the car while I'm driving. Or in this case, while I'm parked. I don't really hate everyone around me. I think I just need to vent when ever I get into the car. It's very therapeutic.

I mean, can I really blame a person for driving slow if they're Asian? They can't help it; it's in their blood. Can I blame a person for not paying attention while they're driving if they're a woman? Of course not. They need to slap on make-up and text their BFF or boyfriend while they're driving. Can I blame a person for cutting me off if they're driving a white Tundra 4X4 and wearing a baseball cap with a mullet streaming out the back? No fucking way. That's just the way they drive.

I can't blame them, but I can vent by calling them every foul name I can think of at the time. No offense. I mean, we'd probably be friendly and cordial in any other situation.

Let me tell you, two hours in traffic on the way home today was a treat.

Now, at least, I can relax.

I heard Mulhausen finally hired a new assistant. She starts Monday. It will be interesting to see what kind of taste he has. It's usually not very good.

Have a good weekend. I'm sure Monday will bring a whole new set of problems to solve and fun to be had... 

Reader Comments (2)

OMG. You have dredged up the worst of my memories of working in West LA. I used to drive the 405 from Huntington Beach to West LA. Before that I drove it from Sherman Oaks (I lived at Ventura and Sepulveda) to West LA. Either way... HELL. Now I live 8 blocks or so from work. I got tired of the 22 from HB to Orange so I moved closer to work. Besides, I totally become Kevin Harvick if I have to be on the freeway past more than 3 exits. I feel for you, dude.

April 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Jason X...did you use just use the "BFF" acronym? Never thought I'd see the day. LOL!

But you are forgetting 3 more L.A. fwys that top the charts on most FUCKED UP across the domestic U.S.:

-"the" 101
-"the" 110
-"the" 10

April 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

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