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« Birthday with Blair | Main | Black Olives »
Monday
May122008

Birthday

Well, it's my birthday today.cake.gif

Okay, moving on...

Remember Friday? Later that evening, Conklin, Detective Curran (aka Rob Jackhoff) and I took a look at the CD that allegedly contained incriminating evidence against us. I popped the CD into my computer and an interesting thing happened. The CD did NOT in fact contain evidence against Conklin and myself. The CD DID in fact contain the infamous "Fuck You Very Much" virus. 

My computer is toast.

Conklin's dead slutty wife's evil sister Fiona the Cunt is a big fucking cunt. Have I mentioned that lately?

Here's what I can piece together...  Conklin's dead slutty wife's evil sister Fiona the Cunt does NOT have evidence against us. She DOES have a copy of Conklin deflowering Blendi the Virgin. She also has McKinney's work print of his 3D porn film. She did NOT actually call the police and the police did NOT actually call back; it must have been a friend or relative. I think she wanted to see how I would deal with the situation. And how we would react to her own deductions about what happened. That little bitch...

I don't think she has an interest in sending us to jail. She's planning something much worse for me and Conklin. The virus was just a little Fuck you, I'm smarter than you message. She's learning; adapting to my style of deceit. This is the behavior of a very meticulous and patient sociopath.  

Well, that's just great...

All right, I'm going to have some sushi and a few dirty martinis and try to think of happy thoughts... 

Reader Comments (20)

Shit, not bad for a cunt.

So, is the computer much of a loss? I mean, you don't do any work on it. Is it just an inconvenience that you can't surf youtube during workhours until you get a replacement?

May 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDigitalSocrates

whoops, happy birthday!

May 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDigitalSocrates

Thanks DS.

The computer is definitely a necessity. You're right, I don't do much actual work, except go to meetings. But I use the computer to IM and email women in the building. It's how I keep Blair calm; it's how I get Athena the Lesbian to meet me in the Comm room. Sure, I have my Blackberry, but I do a lot of multitasking with women, so a computer comes in very handy. I'm working on Teri's computer right now while Desktop Support images my new machine.

That bitch...

May 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON!!!

Mmmm...sushi! My favorite! Hope you had a blast and hope there was a lot more "dirty" pouring down your throat=)

Oh, and as for the cunt...I must say I am impressed. But you're " Jason FUCKING X, goddamnit...she should know better!

May 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

WTF? Was your A-V sleeping? That wouldn't happen in my office. I am a spyware/anti-virus nazi. Nobody better dare try to bring a virus into MY world. This bitch needs some serious extermination now.

Re your birthday... no wonder I like you. Another Bull. I'm surrounded by them. Motley's (my kid) birthday is Friday. Rott (my SO) was the 3rd. There are others as well, but those are the biggies in this house. Hope your birthday was worthy of a big bender and some firm boobage.

May 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Winter, I don't know about you, but I work in the ITsec departament of my corporation (10k+ users), and you wouldn't believe the number of spywares and other shit that users get into their machines that almost no A-V or A-SW finds! Hahahahahah

Happy Birthday Jason! I shall eat sushi to celebrate too!

May 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Wow, what a fucking cunt. I don't get why women get pissed when people say that. It's just a fucking word, get the fuck over it. Anyway, that sucks about your computer. And Happy Birthday! Have you gotten any of your birthday "presents" for any of your co-workers yet?

May 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

Good point Paul. However, even worse, local admin and a few other tricks allow me to disable my AV. It seems to scan constantly and slows my machine down. Brilliant move for an I.T. guy, eh?

Yes, I'm a bull. stubborn and (as you called it on your blog Winter) full of BS.

Daniel, I can only spend my Birthday with one woman. Being the married man that I am, that woman is, of course, Blair. I guess I should write about my birthday night...

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

wow, only one woman on your birthday ? And Blair's the lucky winner, eh? How do you manage to keep the other girls in the user pool happy with that decision, or do you ?

well, in either case, I'm sure two highly disfunctional people make for a great birthday celebration. You two are made for each other.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjust curious

The others know I'm married, so they don't expect me to have time on my birthday. Blair doesn't give a shit and she knows I can figure out a way to spend it with her. I'd rather make it happen than put up with shit from her for a month. Besides, I get laid, right? She's very giving on my birthday.

Dysfunctional? Me? I'm the most stable and normal person I know.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

oh Jason, good thing most of the girls in your userpool know how sleezy you are. Otherwise you'd probably get laid alot less.

Then again, being with a sleezy gets old really fast.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjust curious

I once had a girl call me "sleezy" for being married and meeting her at a bar for drinks. I asked her, "What's that make you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, then she fucked my brains out a couple hours later.

"Gets old really fast." It sounds like you've been with sleezy guys before too, Just Curious. So... What's that make you?

May 15, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Hey, sometimes a sleazy guy with brains is a lot more fun than one wound so tight you can see the stick up his ass.

Oh, and even tho my office is small (52 nodes) I am a nazi. I don't give them internet access. I give them "accepted websites." *EG* No access. No viruses. No spyware. No clean up for me. HEH.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

What do you tell your wife and your children you’re doing while you’re out fucking Blair on your birthday? Just ran across this blog and I can’t believe all these shenanigans I hope this is all made up!!

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHooked

Just cause I have fucked a few sleezy guys in the past doesn't make me sleezy at all Jason. All it means is that the guys are sleezy, scummy, shitty people and I was just stupid for wasting my time on them.

And sleezy definitely gets old really fast. But why try to explain that to you even more. I'm sure you and your girls know all about being sleezy. Hopefully your cock doesn't fall off because of all the sleeziness.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjust curious

Just Curious, my cock is securely fastened. Go ahead, give it a tug.

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I'd much rather give your cock a nice hard kick, but thanks for the offer.

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjust curious

I get the sense just curious has already given Jason a tug or two in the past. Sound a little bitter and angry about the whole thing. Don't worry. Someone always gets hungry enough for left-overs...

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZilch

Hooked: Unfortunately, my job requires that I work very late hours, sometimes even on my birthday. My wife doesn't complain, because the more dedicated I am to my job, the more money I will make, which ultimately means more money for her to spend. Everyone wins.

May 16, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Hahaha...this thread is fucking great!

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

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