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« Blair vs. Fiona | Main | Birthday »
Thursday
May152008

Birthday with Blair

Blair took me to a very expensive Sushi dinner for my birthday. This was a very sweet gesture on herHp_with_Garter.jpg part and only cost me $160. 

Blair's husband is also in Finance and watches every debit like a hawk. If a restaurant is not on their approved vendor list, Blair is not allowed to spend a dime at that establishment. Her weekly expense report is reviewed and approved by her husband with strict criteria without exceptions. My favorite Sushi restaurant does not happen to be on this approved vendor list because it's overpriced from his perspective.

So Blair gave me the choice of going to my favorite Sushi restaurant and paying for it myself or settling for a restaurant on their approved list and letting her pay. I chose my restaurant. It's my birthday, right?

We started off with drinks. I had a dirty martini, she had a greyhound.  

She asked me about Chelsea the Intern by saying, Cute intern this year. If I act like I don't think Chelsea the Intern is cute, Blair will know that I think she's cute and get pissed. If I agree that Chelsea the Intern is cute, Blair will know that I think she's cute and get pissed.

Blair likes to present me with one "no win" situation prior to fucking my brains out on my birthday. She likes me to earn my gift. So she likes to administer a test I can't possibly pass.

But then again, I'm me... 

"She has cancer," I said.

Blair's eyes bulged, her jaw dropped, her demeanor transitioned to deep sympathy.

I told her she had Hodgkins, but it was treatable. She forgot all about her passive aggressive point and we ordered sushi. I wonder what she'd have said if I told her the truth: she used to be a stripper and a hooker; now she's just a hooker who works our building and gives me a cut.

While Blair enjoyed taking me to Sushi, she did not enjoy watching me eat Sushi. I eat Sushi with my fingers; Blair believes the proper way to eat Sushi is with chopsticks. I pointed out to her that in Japan the correct etiquette, at least for Japanese men, is to eat Sushi with their fingers.

However, Blair does not give a rat's ass how they eat sushi in Japan. The only thing that really matters is her perception of what's right and wrong. And in her book, eating sushi with your fingers is wrong.

We argued about this for a good twenty minutes.

I didn't mind so much because even though we were arguing, I could see the black garters around her thighs. She was wearing a black skirt that was slightly hiked up sitting in the booth. Every time I looked down, she could see it got me all hot and bothered. The more she saw me get hot and bothered, the more she got hot and bothered. The more we argued, the more I checked out her legs. The more I checked out her legs, the less I cared about the argument. The less I cared about the argument, the less she cared about the argument. By the time we finished the meal, neither of us were arguing but both of us were very hot and bothered. 

She only wears garters on my birthday. She knows what it does to me.

We didn't feel like having tree sex that night, so we went to the local high school and had sex on the bleachers. Surprisingly, bleachers are very ergonomically correct for sex. You can do a lot of different variations that you just don't get with tree sex.

Reader Comments (3)

Ooohhh, garter belts...and crotchless panties, I hope=P Garter belts are meant to stay on while having sex!

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Oooh yummy! Nothing like eating with your fingers and observing sexy lingerie to work up a REAL appetite! Nice birthday pressie.

May 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Nice play with the cancer card. I'm notorious for my illness lies. Thanks WebMD for being my alibi!

September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

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