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« Bangkok | Main | Blair and Bangkok »
Wednesday
May212008

Troubleshooting

The best way to troubleshoot an issue in Technology is to blame someone else.probSolve.gif

Anger them into troubleshooting the issue to prove you wrong, then when they come back and throw the root cause down at your feet with arrogant vindication, all you have to do is fix the issue. They did the hard part.

That's how I handled Bonnie Body today. She's in charge of Interfaces. She's got a hot bod with what appear to be fake tits. I'm not a big fan of fake tits. I'm not a big fan of basketball either, but if I'm at a bar and a game is on the big screen, it definitely holds my attention.   

I've always just admired her body but never really had interest. She's always so serious. But today she just seemed so angry and excited at the same time, I got all angry and excited. For the first time ever I saw a glint of mutual interest in her eye.  

So I asked her what she did for fun. Surprisingly, she started talking about her personal life. I expected her to blow off the question and stick to business. But no. She smiled and started blabbing about hiking, running, swimming. All the stuff I hate. But what the fuck? I'm only interested in one area of compatibility.  

I asked her what her favorite drink was. She said a Mai Tai.

Well, as long as she drinks, we're compatible.  

The User Pool is a little light these days, so maybe it's time to beef it up. Enhancing the User Pool is a lot like troubleshooting. Take a look at the diagram above. Same thing. But just a little more entertaining.

Reader Comments (6)

A properly made Mai Tai is a wonderful thing. There aren't many places to get a properly made Mai Tai.

You live in LA right? Check out Tiki Ti.

May 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFishy5

I love a good Mai Tai.I like margys better. But now I wanna try a Blind Melon cause someone was howling about it on a blog. Maybe if I drink all three I'll get drunk.

I like your troubleshooting diagram. I wish I could make it work in my office. In my office this is what happens:

1. I send out an email asking everyone to stay out of application A because it's not working. The software vendor is attempting to fix it.
2. I get a phone call the next morning that application B on the application server is broken.
3. I don't believe the woman who called. B works for me.
4.I look at the management console for the app server. The woman was stuck in app A, even though she got an email, and read it, about NOT opening app A.
5. I VNC to her machine, end task on the stuck app A, reopen app B and voila! app B now works.
6. I go back to the app server to make sure she cleared out of A when I end tasked it. She did, but meanwhile 2 other people who read the email are attempting to open the broken app A.

Rinse, repeat, mix with a few calls to supervisors, a mini rant to HR, and then a resolution to the issue. I send a new email saying you can use app A now. Even though the email from me with the happy news in the subject line is sitting in their inbox... I get phone calls asking if app A works yet.

See? I have my own vicious little tech cycle.

I hope Bonnie gives it up. Just fuck her from behind and you won't have to worry about the fake tits.

May 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

May I refer you back to my nifty little diagram HERE.

Works like a charm...

Fake tits look good; not ideal for resting your head but great for handles when tappin' that ass.

May 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Heh. That's a nice diagram Tech Babe. Must show it to my "evil" HR manager. We will get some snarky laughs from it.

And I can't imagine Jason needs handles... he doesn't even need an opportunity. He makes them.

May 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Glad my diagram could potentially impact other organizations Winter=)

And you're right about Jason too!

May 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Fishy, I think I know the one you're talking about. Really small, crazy shit all around. Awesome Mai Tais.

Winter, that is EXACTLY the way it goes down in every organization. You've got to love users...

That's a great diagram Tech Babe. I forgot you had posted that.

May 24, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

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