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« Patpong Pussy Darts | Main | Cathay Pacific »

Prostitutes Are Not Dysfunctional

I do not like prostitutes because they like me.prostitute.JPG

I do not like things I can have; I like things I cannot have.

Blair was a bitch, Blendi was a virgin, Athena was a Lesbian, Lucia was a religious fanatic. If nothing else, I like women who cannot be mine because they belong to someone else.

Prostitutes belong to everyone, including me, which is why I can never have one. If a prostitute turned me down, then I would want her. But since prostitutes will always never turn me down, I will always never want one.

Most of all, I like women who are dysfunctional.

Prostitutes are not dysfunctional and here's why:

  1. The rules are very well defined and are explicitly stated up front
  2. Their cost of doing business is standard across all services
  3. Religious beliefs do not restrict services
  4. They are not passive aggressive; they say what they mean and mean what they say
  5. You always meet their expectations
  6. You do not need to fit their predefined standard of what a man should be
  7. There is never anything that needs to be "fixed" in the relationship
  8. Jealousy is not an issue
  9. Your needs are always met
  10. They don't make you feel trapped or confined
  11. You don't need to find other ways to satisfy yourself because you're unhappy in the relationship
  12. Personal growth is always encouraged

From my point of view, there's nothing appealing about a woman who isn't dysfunctional. The more dysfunctional, the more she appeals to me. A prostitute simply has her shit together and holds no interest for me.

Unfortunately, in Thailand, there are only two ways to have sex with a local woman:

  1. Marry her
  2. Buy her
Well, at least there's ping pong. I think I'll go check out some pussy tricks tonight at the sex show.

Reader Comments (4)

I should have realized that about you and the dysfunctional women. Hmmmmn. I wonder... Meh. My shit's too together. Plus I'm too old for you. Oh, well it was a nice day dream for a minute. ;) Enjoy the ping pong!

May 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

No need to shell out to get some anyway...not're Jason "Fucking" X!

I heard about those ping-pong shows. And after hearing the stories, makes me feel like a virgin all over again!


May 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Awwwwe, Winter. Always making me feel good about myself. I agree, you must have your shit together.

You too, Tech Babe. I need to get back soon so that Blair and my wife can remind me of my many flaws.

May 29, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Pfft. I'm a woman. I fake it really well. Heh.

May 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

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