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« Blair Does Not Miss Me | Main | Prostitutes Are Not Dysfunctional »
Thursday
May292008

Patpong Pussy Darts

I was talking to the Finance lady from the Philippines yesterday on a break from our meeting. We were800px-Plastic-Dart.jpg eating some snacks and sipping coffee when she said:

"So, while you're in Bangkok, do you plan to go to the pussy show?"

"As a matter of fact," I said. "I do plan to go to the pussy show."

And we went last night to a place called Super Pussy in a part of town called Patpong.

I don't know what I was expecting, but the experience only lasted 10 minutes.

As soon as we walked in, we were surrounded by "women" in bikinis (note, the word women is in quotes). I immediately waved the shemales away, although some lingered near the young woodcock that was with us knowing he might be a little more naive to their ruse. That was actually quite entertaining...

I spent the first five minutes arguing with the "house mother" who tried to over charge me. Once I finally worked that out, we sat back to enjoy the show.

If you've never heard of this, Bangkok is famous for pussy tricks. For 300 Baht (about $10) and another 100 Baht for a beer, you get to watch a multitude of pussy tricks, including the most famous, shooting ping pong balls across the room. An extremely talented and robust pussy can shoot a banana about 15 feet. Other tricks listed on a flyer they handed us included:

  • The smoking pussy (taking puffs from a cigarette and then blowing smoke out)
  • The bottle opening pussy (opening a coke bottle, leaning back and "drinking" the contents completely, then standing up and emptying it back into the bottle).
  • The razor pussy (pulling a string or razor blades out)
  • The writing pussy (writing with an inserted pen)
  • The birthday pussy (blowing out candles on a cake)

But we never got to any of those tricks. That's because they started the show with the dart-blowing pussy.

There were about six girls on stage whose expressions all resembled the extremely disinterested and unenthusiastic expression my wife dons during sex. They jiggled only slightly to the music, wore bikini tops, no bottoms. They needed to be free and clear down there.

We were sitting against the far wall. I knew there was trouble when one woman sat down opposite of us at the far end of the stage and they cleared everyone out of the way in front of us. I guess the house mother wanted to punish me.

The woman on stage spread her legs, inserted something and then suddenly shot a needle size steel dart all the way across the room toward us. I immediately jumped up and ran to the side, free and clear from the line of fire. But Fred, the older ex-sailor now data conversion expert, remained seated, unintimidated. The last time he had come through this part of the world, pussies shooting darts at him was the least of his problems.

I looked over and saw the woman taking aim again. This time, the dart flew upward, hitting the ceiling. She was locked and loaded in seconds; she fired the next one. I glanced over and there was Fred, sitting against the wall with a dart stuck into his forehead. He just laughed. I walked over to him, examined the dart sticking straight out of his forehead and said:

"That's it, I'm out."

Groping shemales, flying HIV needles, and women with wife attitude were not my idea of fun. Well, I wanted to be able to say I saw the show.

I saw the show.


Reader Comments (11)

You didn't stay for the full show!?!? I guess the forehead dart would have freaked me out too.Good call...I've seen the smoking and bottle trick on youtube and was quite fascinated.

Again, I feel like a virgin.

Glad you're having a blast!

May 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Flying needles is a bit disconcerting. I've seen the smoking too. At first, it's fascinating, but after about a minute goes by, it just gets gross.

May 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Jason X is a god. I bow down in worship of him (and to avoid the pussy darts).

May 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersatchel u.

jason x... who is satchel u. do I know her?

May 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterX nosaJ

Satchel is male, not female. Only men think I'm a god and bow down in worship of me (and to avoid the pussy darts). Women sort of love me and hate me. Or love to hate me. Or hate loving me. Or, more likely, don't give a shit either way.

And by the way, everyone knows Satchel. So most likely you do too.

May 31, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

I think it was a wise move to bolt. I can't think of a more ironic death for you.

September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

M: Maybe the David Carradine death.

September 14, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Hi,

By accident I came here a couple of days ago and I really like the articles here Because of that I decided to get an account here.
So a big thanks

black ass

December 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOphraTrillick

Hello. Excuse me just a question. I heard talking about Thailand here. I'm about going on holiday to Asia. I would like some info on Pattaya in Thailand. I would know if It's a good place to go with family or should I choose another place? Thank You so much.

March 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPattaya

Please dont go to Patpong area and especially to the Super Pussy Show. They are very dangerous people and cheated us and snatched money from us. Out side they told us the charge is 100bhats including one free beer. But once inside a shemale came to us and charged 300bhats and raised hands on few. Pattaya is excellent place and safe. Patpong in Bangkok is very dangerous place and avoid it.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKoti

That is some crazy shit.

August 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

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