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« Where's Jason? | Main | The Latest Reorg »
Tuesday
Jun102008

Bonnie Bod

As it turns out, Bonnie Bod is more than slightly psychotic.Dont.jpg

When she had my cock in her hand she was praying to god to deliver her from evil. I can only assume she meant my evil cock. And yet, she did not let go of my evil cock.

I wasn’t sure if I liked her holding my evil cock or not. At first, it felt very good. But then she seemed upset that God would not deliver her from my evil cock, so she started taking it out on my evil cock by choking it to death. That didn’t feel quite as good.

Bonnie Bod has a boyfriend and apparently a conscience that allows her to touch evil things like a cock, but it does not allow her to enjoy it. I’ve never heard of a woman praying to God for strength to resist an evil cock while stroking it. So this was definitely a new one for me...

I should have known I was in trouble when we were having drinks. After two Bay Breezes, she started weeping.

She kept saying she should die. Then she started hitting her thigh. Little taps at first, then a pretty good thump or two. I tried to calm her down, but when I touched her arm, she moved in for a kiss and stuck her tongue down my throat and probed me like she lost an earring down there or something.

Okay, everything is fine, right? She started hitting herself again and asking God to kill her.

“If you’re not comfortable with this, I understand,” I said. “Let’s just call it a night.”

“No, I’m not comfortable with this,” she said. “I need to leave.”

She then leaned in again and gave my mouth another tongue fuck.

The booth was dark and reasonably private, but I’m sure at least a few people could see the show. And although I was freaked out, I couldn’t help but make a grab for her left fake tit.

Apparently second base bumped it up to a whole new level of guilt. She pushed me off, grabbed the knife on the table and started pricking her own thigh with the tip to punish herself.

That’s when I paid the tab and got her out of there. I had enough of this freaky bitch.

Outside, I put her in her car and said:

“If you’re that worried about your boyfriend, you should go home to him.”

I decided right then and there, I wanted nothing to do with this crazy person.

I then got into her car and started making out with her wildly while double-fisting her two fake tits.

That’s when my evil cock made its appearance in the flesh. And that’s when she took hold of it and started praying to God Almighty for the strength to let go of it.

The more she prayed to let go, the tighter she gripped it. 

Since I was losing circulation in my dick, I pried her fingers off my evil cock myself. It's like the hand of God was working through me. She started slapping her own face like a Jesuit priest.

Well, that was it. This was almost as bad as being the target of flying Patpong Pussy Darts.

I fumbled for the door but she climbed on top of me and fucked me with as much fanaticism as she had for Christ the Lord. And let me tell you: that’s a lot of fanaticism for one cock.

This probably wasn’t a good idea. But she probably went home and slit her wrists last night anyway, so with God’s good grace, I may not have to deal with it. I haven’t seen her yet today. I’d say that’s a good sign…

Reader Comments (7)

What the fuck?

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Holly fucking shit Jason!!! Like some wise men once said "Run to the hills.... Run for your life...."

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

I'm going to church immediately.

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersatchel u.

Turns out she didn't kill herself. Yeah, this might have been a mistake...

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

She'll show up on your doorstep one day, I'm sure.

KAH-RAY-ZEE!!!!!!

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

some like to ask for forgiveness before the c0ck is in their mouth and some just don't give a fuck ... and say suck it...

June 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterX nosaJ

Yeah. Listen to Iron Maiden. I'd run far and bar the door with a big armoire. Or tell her you have a disease or something.

Either that or put on the black leather and buy the chain mail flogger. Show her some "real" punishment. Heh.

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

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