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« How to Get Rid of an Office Stalker | Main | Bonnie Bod »

Where's Jason?

Much like Where's Waldo? it was very difficult to spot me today.waldo.jpg

That's because Bonnie Bod did not, in fact, take her life in a fit of guilt-ridden religious rage after our night of iniquity.  

All I know is that she wants to talk.

I told Teri to make sure that Bonnie Bod always knew that I was never available. Unfortunately, Fiona the Cunt got wind that I was trying to avoid Bonnie Bod, so she made sure that Bonnie Bod always knew that I was always available every time Teri let her know that I was not available.  

That bitch. That cunt.

I spent most of the day with my laptop working in 3204. Being the religious freak that Bonnie Bod is, she would never check a haunted conference room.

Unfortunately, unwilling to be defeated, Fiona the Cunt scheduled an Interface meeting with Mulhausen, Bonnie Bod, Smithee, and myself. 

My first thought was to have Smithee cover for me. Then I realized that he doesn't exist and therefore, I would have to cover for him.

Then, I realized Fiona the Cunt had not yet acclimated to two bosses... 

I quickly had Smithee send Fernandez an FYI on the meeting, since any Interface meeting would impact International. This really pissed off Fernandez, since he assumed Mulhausen excluded him on purpose. He then sent a message to Fiona the Cunt and said that if there were an Interface meeting, he had to be there, and he was unavailable today.

This was a lie, of course, because even though Fernandez is no longer on Special Projects, he still has nothing to do. 

While Fiona the Cunt and I were waging our little war, I'm sure Bonnie Bod had her own internal battle going on...

The sequence of thoughts in Bonnie Bod's head: 

  1. Find Jason
  2. Where the fuck is Jason?
  3. Hail Mary, Hail Mary, Hail Mary
  4. Find Jason
  5. God damnit! Where is he?
  6. Oh my God! I just took the Lord's name in vain. Forgive me Father for I have sinned
  7. I'll cut my thigh three times with a knife; that ought to do it.
  8. Find Jason
  9. Where's Jason? 
  10. Holy fucking shit, where the fuck is Jason?
  11. Oh no... Where's my knife?

I successfully avoided Bonnie Bod today and defeated Fiona the Cunt.

I've got to do something about this... I know, it was stupid of me to get involved with this lunatic... But if you have any suggestions on how to resolve this issue, lay them on me...

Reader Comments (5)

Sounds like a job for HR to me. The woman clearly has a weapon (planted) on her at the workplace. What if she's secretly a terrorist? Heh. At the very least most companies have a policy about bringing a weapon to work. Bye Bye Bonnie.

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Man I just can't understand what problem American catholics have. I am catholic, but I would never think something like she is. (Nor I know someone who would)

Well, today is Valentine's Day, here in Brazil, and I sure as hell will fuck the brains out of my girlfriend!

Or am I a not common Cathlolic?

Jason, why don't Smithee file a complaint about the Cunt? Anything will do, afterall, who will they believe a secretary or a High Executive?

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPaul

Looks like Winter and Paul have you covered Jason! RID THE BITCH!

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Quit fucking random psycho bitches !

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterobserver

Last time Observer. I've learned my lesson. The exit strategy is already in play...

June 12, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

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