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« Bonnie Bod | Main | Dysfunctional Lover or Bloodsucking Vampire? »
Friday
Jun062008

The Latest Reorg

Fernandez is no longer assigned to Special Projects.

An executive like Fernandez is assigned to Special Projects when senior management does not know what to do with him. The executive has most likely adeptly demonstrated that he has reached his level of incompetence, a.k.a. The Peter Principle, and must now be relegated to a position in which he cannot harm himself or the company.Incompetence.jpg

But then an interesting thing always seems to happen. After a period of time, senior management forgets that the executive in charge of Special Projects is incompetent because he has not been given the opportunity to demonstrate that incompetence for quite some time.

So senior management puts him back in the game, while demonstrating their own incompetence and lack of good judgement.

They announced the reorg today, and it looks like Smithee will now have a matrix reporting relationship to both Mulhausen and Fernandez. Mulhausen will handle domestic and Fernandez will handle international.

Senior management has decided that we need two vice presidents to handle the two segments of the business, but only one director to handle both. And since that director doesn't actually exist, it really means one manager will be handling both. And that manager is me.

Fernandez was very excited about the reorg. He is brilliant at telling other people what to do, but when you're assigned to Special Projects, you don't have anyone reporting to you.  

It's a good thing I kept Smithee around. Fernandez tried to tell me to do something today but I quickly indoctrinated him about Smithee's fervent views on protocol. I told Fernandez that if he wanted to give me direction, he had to tell Smithee and then Smithee would tell me. Likewise, if I needed to tell Fernandez something, I had to tell Smithee who would then tell Fernandez.

Mulhausen nodded and agreed:  "He's very adamant about the protocol."

Fernandez spent most of the day trying to find Smithee. Everytime he stopped by Smithee's office, Teri told him that he had just missed him. Teri is Smithee's assistant and has yet to meet him herself. Smithee sent Teri an email today informing her that he would not be in today but that she should pretend that he was.

Teri suspects Smithee is having an affair with Blair.  

Smithee finally sent Fernandez a message to let him know that he was too busy to meet with him today, but that he would schedule something for next month.

I have the best boss ever...

Reader Comments (6)

i don't know, that smithee is a crafty bastard. He might find a way to have an affair with blair without even existing.

June 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDigitalSocrates

I need a boss like Smithee. I just turned in my review. And I wasn't nice about things...

I can't wait to see what dance Smithee has Fernandez do. Heh.

June 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

OMFG Jason! You too? Remember my MIA Boss that went to Special Projects? Well guess what? Same fucking thing. He's coming back. Was just going to write that post but got sidetracked. Maybe we do work for the same company!

June 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

DS, Blair almost did have an affair with Smithee once, but he was rude and arrogant to her last time. Maybe it's time he humble himself and try again...

Winter, I'm convinced everyone could use a boss like Smithee. The drawback is that I could be fired at any given moment if anyone finds out... People just aren't that bright around here and I seem to be immortal like your vampires. The only person I really fear is Fiona the Cunt, who happens to be my Van Helsing...

Tech Babe... You could be right; the company is very large, but I have yet to see that body walking around I.T. ...

June 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I still can't believe this Smithee thing. There's no paperwork, no social security number, no questions from payroll, no questions on what corporation he's from since he was an "outside hire from a consulting firm." Private corporations fascinate me.

September 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

M: The company pays to a corp. based on its corp tax id. This belongs to Nick Zima. Payroll didn't know how to pay Smithee either until Nick took on the role. Now we, uh, split the proceeds...

September 14, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

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