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Maricruz is married. That's just one of the things I like about her. 

Never fuck around with anyone who doesn't have just as much to lose as you do.

That's one of the guiding principals of The User Pool. Certainly, I have broken that rule. Remember Megan the Suicide Hotline volunteer? Blendi the Virgin (and Unvirgin)? Athena the Lesbian? None of them are married or in a committed relationship like I am (or am supposed to be...). What's stopping them from getting a little crazy and calling my wife? Not what stops Blair. Or Lucia. Or any of the other married women I see.

So whether Maricruz is married or not and giving me the fuck me look is irrelevant to the fact that I'm going to fuck her through and through. I break my own rule more than I should because the fuck me look is the fuck me look and my dick apparently doesn't like the rules my head comes up with that interfere with what that fuck me look leads to.

So the fact that Maricruz is married is a good thing because my dick and my head can be aligned on this particular project. No inner conflict, no argument. Dick and head are one in purpose.

I actually spoke to Maricruz today. She's a Marketing Coordinator for the International Marketing department. She gave me the fuck me giggle throughout the whole conversation. That's the giggle you get every time you say something just mildly humorous. Doesn't deserve a giggle, but it gets one because it's the giggle that says, fuck me.

There's no reason to giggle this much, but I want you to know that I want you to fuck me.

I know some of you might be thinking, shit this guy is really self-absorbed. Well, that may be true. But one thing I know is when someone is giving me the actual fuck me look. Or the fuck me giggle. Or the fuck me anything. I know there are guys who think any look is a fuck me look. They're delusional. That's not what's happening here. I don't get it from all women. Not even close. I'm not so self-absorbed to think that I do or should. I'm just saying that when I see it, I know it, and I'm telling you that this girl wants it and I'm going to give it to her.


Good question. But when a person gets the fuck me giggle from a woman, I can tell you this: it's right around the corner...

Reader Comments (6)

I'm giggling. Well, as close to a giggle as I come to. Mostly because this is too funny.

August 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Mostly... You little devil...

August 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Hey, they don't call me a dirty girl for nothing. ;)

August 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Zen Buddhism states quite explicitly that mind and body often contradict each other. As such, most training you receive is on how to have your mind shut the fuck up. You gotta love a metaphysical system that states your dick knows better than your brain.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChen Master

I'm thinking you should teach me the appropriate "fuck me" giggle so I can make myself clearer to coworkers.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

Chen Master: Good to know. I agree with the metaphysical. Dick always knows best.

Sabina: To be perfectly clear:

He says: Good morning.
You say: (giggle) Good morning. (giggle).
He says: What's funny?
You say: Nothing. (giggle)
He says: You just giggled.
You say: No I didn't. (giggle).

But based on your blog, you've got "fuck me" written all over you in the sexiest sense of the words. If he doesn't get it, he's a goat. Find the sheep. They hear your voice (and the fuck me giggle) and follow. I think I read that in a book somewhere...

August 19, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

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