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« Park Sex with Friends and Enemies | Main | Stealing from the Company »
Friday
Aug222008

How to Derail Your Psycho Lover

Blair is spying on me more than usual which means she thinks she knows something that I don't know she thinks she knows. 

However, whatever she thinks she knows is only hearsay, otherwise she would confront me about it immediately. She is currently in the validation stage which, believe me, is much better than the confirmation stage.

Whenever Blair gets to this stage, it's time to create a diversion.

Which is why my boss Smithee has been flirting with her through email all day.

Blair was pissed off at Smithee for a long time because he stood her up for Sushi and drinks. But it really wasn't his fault that he didn't show up that night. I mean, how can you blame a guy for not existing?

My boss Smithee is a Jason X fabricated figment of everyone's imagination

But I have to say, for someone who doesn't exist, people sure do think he's a great guy.

Women are wildly attracted to him. I've heard he's been rated a 9.5 (- .5 because he's married).

Upper management loves him because he's polished and professional; subordinates love him because he's in touch with the common employee; peers love him because he doesn't step on their toes.

And somehow, it's rumored he has a big dick.

Smithee spent the morning warming back up to Blair. Getting back into her good graces once you've fallen is not an easy thing to do. But since Smithee knows Blair like I know Blair, he knows all the tricks to entice her back.

Now that Smithee has diverted her attention. Blair has paid less attention to me. Because she thinks she knows something about me that I don't know she thinks she knows, she feels justified flirting with Smithee. But because she's flirting with Smithee she also feels guilty and therefore doesn't feel the need to catch me doing something since she's now doing something too.

Bottom line is, the diversion is working. Now I can focus on Maricruz, who has been flirting with me all day through email while Smithee has been flirting with Blair all day through email.

Well, I'm heading out for drinks with Maricruz now. I'd like to close this deal tonight. I'll let you know how it goes...

Reader Comments (2)

Hmmm. So did Maricruz mess up your fucked up ankle? I can't wait to hear this story!

August 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

No, she's not directly responsible. One crazy ass night though.

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

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