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« Sympathy Sex | Main | The Blair Pool »
Tuesday
Sep092008

Breaking Up Forever

What's offensive about the Blair Pool is that it's not a wager about whether or not Blair and I will get back together; it's a

wager about when we'll get back together.

It's also unsettling how many people know about our secret affair to begin with. Blendi the Unvirgin has a couple of squares in the pool. Wheels too. My own assistant put down money. 

It's all very deeply troubling.

If I had to grasp at a few straws of possible justification for this unreasonable lack of faith in my ability to end it with Blair for good, I suppose they would be:

  • I have broken it off and gotten back together with Blair at least 40 times.
  • I dumped her before lunch "for good" once, bet Petrizzo that I'd never get back together with her again, and then right after lunch got back together with her.
  • She got back together with me once just so that I wouldn't fuck anyone else. Since she will only fuck around with one person at a time behind her husband's back (because fucking more than one person at a time behind her husband's back would make her a slut), she believes I will only fuck one person at a time behind my wife's back.
  • I got together with her once just so that she wouldn't fuck anyone else, knowing her rule stated in the bullet point above.
  • We broke it off at El Torito one night, then I drove her home and she blew me in the car. I wasn't sure if a blowjob meant we were back together or not, so we remained aloof the rest of the week, but then got together at the end of the week and had actual sex. Sex definitely means you're back together. However, there is a question as to whether or not a blowjob constitutes reconciliation. Take note, Blair Pool participants...
  • We broke up three times at the Holiday Party two years ago, but fully reconciled by the end of the night.

Personally, I don't think these are reasons to doubt this particular break-up. I'm tired of Blair. I have plenty of other options. I'm done.

Everyone loses except me.

Ha ha.

Reader Comments (7)

I feel vague on the term "break-up" here. In your mind does that just mean you're not having sex? Cause in my world "breaking-up" means that you had a relationship beyond that.
If you're just activity partners, then it's not a big deal, and I would expect that you could end it forever. If there's some sort of emotional investment, then it's much bigger, and I can see why there's doubt.

xo

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrincess of the Universe

You're not inspiring confidence here with a list like that Jason. It's like seeing odds of 4/1 on a horse then reading an article in the Daily Racing Form about how sucky the horse has been training for the last month. I'm not betting on the outcome of THIS race.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Two excellent points from Princess of the Universe and Winter.

USER = FUCK BUDDY = NO EMOTIONAL TIES = NO RELATIONSHIP

I can see you breaking up w/ Blair...I'll give you that. But doesn't mean you won't fuck her again=)

Wait...did you actually have "feelings" for Blair stored in other compartments of your body outside of your cock?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech-Babe

Princess: yes, when Blair and I stop having sex, we are broken up. Emotional investment? I'm not comfortable with this conversation.

Winter: That's all in the past. I'm a sure bet this time, regardless of odds.

Tech Babe: Feelings for Blair? I'm not comfortable with this conversation.

September 10, 2008 | Registered CommenterJason X

Instead of using the term broken up use 'when we fuck again'. IMO. :)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJordan

I have the feeling nobody has faith in my ability to abstain...

September 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Ummm. What's wrong with a slut? They enjoy the hell out of sex.

October 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDevilbluedress

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