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Vendor Lunches

Some vendors are better than others. They all buy you expensive lunches. But some pimp out their hot young assistants for


Those are the vendors I like the most.

McCroskey is exactly that kind. I had lunch with him today and he brought along his new assistant Giselle. He thinks if she puts out, I'll put out some cash and hire some of his contractors. But really, I only hire people I know will make me look good. So if he has those people, I'll hire them. If he doesn't, I won't. Giselle just buys my time so that he can pitch his people to me face-to-face.

I met them at La Scala around 11:45. Giselle was really cute and young with perky, very friendly talking tits. At first I thought I was hearing things. But after a moment of hearing them speak, I knew those bouncy melons had a mind of their own.

Giselle's Tits: "So, you wanna get some?"

Me: "Of course. I always want to get some." 

Giselle's Tits: "Well, Giselle wants to give some. McCroskey just told her to flirt with you and smile a lot. But we all know exactly where that's going. Don't be fooled by her innocent eyes. Just because she flaunts an angelic disposition, doesn't mean the rest of us are pure. In fact, we're fucking perverts. We're out of control. Pinch us, bite us, slap us around. We want it hard. And guess what? She doesn't even attempt to stop us. Because she knows we do what the fuck we want to do, and there's nothing she can do about it."

Me: "Nice. I like Independent tits. The kind of tits that don't hold back. Well, you can count on me to utilize you to the fullest extent. I do not take tits for granted."

I wonder why tits are so friendly to me. I mean, I'm certainly friendly to them. Even Blair's tits are friendly to me. Sure they keep an eye on me for Blair, but ultimately, they seem to adore me when ever I'm close. Maybe it's because I never discriminate. I love tits of all colors, shapes and sizes. I treat them all the same. And they show their appreciation in a big way.

After lunch, McCroskey handed me his card, which of course had Giselle's number on the back. I'll give it a couple of days, call her up and ask if I can speak to her tits.

Reader Comments (8)

God daaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyaaaammmmm!

The End

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTech-Babe

Have you been taking photos of my kid? That sure looks like her boobage in that photo.

I'm glad tits talk to you. I bet they get really lonely.

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinter

Winter, no not your daughter. But if this resembles her, I think I'll start spending more time on her site...

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

i think those are mine. or were mine. i mean mine before i got them reduced. small world.

November 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeepers

Peepers: Reduced??? That should be against the law.

November 13, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

sure it should be. if it got me below a F cup. ; )

November 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeepers

I used to go out with a double F. Why Peepers, why? Is that really a photo of you? We should have a drink sometime.

November 14, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

why: threw out my back at the age of 18.
why: now they're still abnormally large, but extra perky.

drink: next time you're up my way you should tweet me.

November 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeepers

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