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Hello Kitty

On Friday night I went over to visit Minoo the HR Coordinator at her apartment because it was inappropriate to meet her at a bar to have drinks. After all, we work for the same company.

When I got to her place, she made herself an alcoholic beverage but refused to offer me an alcoholic beverage because again, that would be inappropriate. I asked if I could make my own alcoholic beverage and she said that would be beyond her control and absolutely appropriate. 

I tried to sit next to her on the couch, but she again informed me that it would be inappropriate.

So I took my pants off and asked if that would be inappropriate.

She again determined that it was completely out of her control, and therefore, absolutely appropriate. 

I was beginning to get the picture. 

I told her that it would be inappropriate for her to unbutton her own blouse.

So I ripped it off of her.

She admitted that was completely beyond her control. 

I then told her that it would be inappropriate for her to take me into the bedroom. So I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

As strange as it was, things were going well. Then it got stranger still. 

Once we were in the bedroom, I nearly dropped her on her ass when I laid eyes on the decor. 

The room was decorated from ceiling to floor with Hello Kitty paraphernalia.

There must have been 20 Hello Kitty plush dolls covering the bed along with Hello Kitty pillows and a Hello Kitty comforter. The walls were covered with Hello Kitty wallpaper and Hello Kitty posters. There was a Hello Kitty pencil holder and a Hello Kitty sippy cup on the night stand with a Hello Kitty lamp. She had Hello Kitty iPod speakers, a Hello Kitty phone, and a Hello Kitty night light. 

I had a feeling that if I lifted her skirt, I'd find Hello Kitty panties.

I stood there in shock for a moment or two.

Then I fucked Minoo the HR Coordinator all over Hello Kitty. 

I'm not sure if that was appropriate or not. But Minoo the HR Coordinator didn't seem to mind because all she kept saying was, Fuck my kitty, over and over again.

Reader Comments (15)

Oh, my...

January 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternadzb21

Now I'm wondering if Hello Kitty makes vibrators...

January 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFar

Far: Hello Kitty does make a "shoulder massager"

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Thanks Matt. Readers helping readers. Awesome.

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Matt: That Hello Kitty "shoulder massager" appears quite frightening. It makes me wonder if the kitty's head spins like the little girl's from The Exorcist . Also makes me wonder how you came to know about this gadget...

Jason X: Now you have a present for Minoo's collection...or you can always get the Hello Kitty Blow Light for yourself if you don't find yourself in another inappropriate position and need reminders...

January 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFar

Helllooooooo Kitty! I'm sure you made her purr. Maybe she is Hello Kitty. No, that can't be right. She's Korean. Better check for scratch marks.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Far: I did a search for it after you said you were wondering about it. That's how I cam across it.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Jason X: You rock dude. I check your site religiously every weekday morning (I am usually too hungover to do anything until about 3:00pm on the weekends). You are the exemplar by which I follow when it comes to my own corporate meanderings. I hope that one day my 'User Pool' becomes as numerous and prosperous as yours.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

This story kind of makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Is Minoo the HR coordinator eight years old?

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

It was completely out of my control that this post appeared on my screen so reading it was completely out of my control.

Cheers - fun post.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

Far: I'll mention the blow light to Minoo. Although she's got a good handle on blowing already.

Tech Babe: You're thinking of Ha Neul the Cannibal. Minoo is Iraqi. Odd combo with Hello Kitty, I know. But very fitting for HR.

Matt: You rock for being a fan. And you have a worthy goal. I'm proud of you.

Sabina: She's in her early 20's. Although you're right. She's about 100 pounds and seems younger, especially sprawled out on Hello Kitty product. I was still comfortable enough to fuck her.

David: That makes it completely appropriate.

January 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

That's hilarious, first time coming by the site, but won't be the last. How you came up with the name "Minoo" is even more funny. Be sure to wrap it up!


January 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEd The Sports Fan

Good job! I have a Hello Kitty vibrator (the head is the part that you put on your cat).

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterczboogie

Note how I said shopping but not buying. I would use and abuse the internet to find out as much competitive information on the paticular part you are looking for. Then before buying the research for the best deal. And don't forget to include the shipping cost into your budget. car purchase loan calculator

June 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterImifafeaciday

Yes, yes, I know - condoms suck. However, if it means winning points for being so thoughtful...

Actually, even better is:
Yep. Anything that could possibly be misconstrued as or clearly is a Hello Kitty sex toy/tool.

Feels dirty. And not in the good way.

August 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisette

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