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« Minoo's "You Fucked Me" Look | Main | New Year's Resolutions »
Monday
Jan052009

Getting Bombed

Since Pangbourn is paranoid that Jeni-Fire is sleeping with me, Jeni-Fire is paranoid that Pangbourn wants to blow her up with a bomb.

Pangbourn is usually paranoid that someone else is trying to blow him up with a bomb, which is why Jeni-Fire believes Pangbourn would also use a bomb to take her out.

I am also paranoid Pangbourn wants to blow me up with a bomb.

How was I supposed to know Pangbourn was sleeping with one of the girls on my holiday wish list?

When I came in today, I had my assistant Teri check my office for explosives. She was not thrilled about this task, but I reminded her that this was one of those rare opportunities we had spoken about previously in which she gets to go the extra mile and show some real dedication.

No bomb was detected.

Jeni-Fire spent her day today trying to tell me how paranoid she was that Pangbourn wants to blow her up with a bomb. I spent my day trying to avoid Jeni-Fire because I was paranoid that if Pangbourn saw her talking to me, he'd want to blow me up with a bomb all the more. 

I tried to stay away from my office as much as possible today. When I stopped by after lunch, Teri told me that Pangbourn was looking for me. 

The only way to be less paranoid about Pangbourn wanting to blow me up with a bomb was to make Pangbourn more paranoid about someone else wanting to blow him up with a bomb. 

I had done this once before when I needed to get rid of Bonnie Bod, the psychotic cock grabbing repenter. I had convinced Pangbourn that she was a terrorist, so she was fired and Home Land Security took her away. 

All I needed to do was convince Pangbourn that Bonnie Bod just got out of prison and was out for revenge (as in Cape Fear). 

Bonnie Bod, of course, never went to prison. Although I heard she was suing HLS for something or other.

Regardless, it wasn't hard to ignite paranoia in Pangbourn. Coming from me, he might be suspicious. So I had Smithee send him an FYI email. And that's all it took.

Pangbourn is so paranoid that Bonnie Bod is going to blow him up with a bomb, he's got no time to worry about blowing anyone else up with a bomb. 

In fact, with this diversion, I may feel comfortable actually fucking Jeni-Fire after all. With Bonnie Bod on the loose, I'll be free and clear.

Reader Comments (3)

Excellent use of existing circumstances to your advantage!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsfitznham

You have a sick, sick mind Jason. I think that's what I find most attractive about you.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdananner

Thanks Msfitznham. I do what I can...

DaNanner, I knew you were attracted to twisted men!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

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