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« When It Rains, It Pours Bizarre | Main | Meet Your Maker »

Thanksgiving '09

Yet again, Tefft was in charge of the Technology Thanksgiving Potluck this year. Last year's theme was Gay Marriage. Not necessarily for or against it, just simply gay marriage in general. Her themes are always very loosely tied to something we might be thankful for, or possibly not thankful for, like the theme two years previous: Pesticides Cause Cancer.

This year's theme was New Moon from the Twilight series. Apparently Tefft is a big fan, along with the millions of pre-pubescent teen girls in America. 

I wasn't sure what the Twilight series had to do with being thankful for anything, but again, Tefft doesn't really adhere to convention. 

Everyone had to draw from a hat (one of Tefft's flamboyant, flappy brimmed sun hats) to determine which team we'd be on. Either Team Jacob or Team Edward. 

I asked Tefft to explain the difference. She looked offended that I didn't already know. I explained to her that I was not a 15-year-old girl. She agreed that I wasn't, but did not understand my point.

"So what's the difference between Team Chuck and Team Nate?" I asked again.

"Chuck and Nate are from Gossip Girl. Not Twilight."

"What's the difference?"

"Are you kidding me? There's a huge difference," Tefft said. "Except for the actors. They're all the same actors. And essentially the same story but with vampires and werewolves. But everything else is different."

"Okay, back to my question," I said. "What's the difference between Team Spencer and Team Brody?"

"No, no no. Spencer and Brody are from The Hills. Same actors, different show. Do you get it?"

Once the food was laid out, I pulled Tefft aside. We both ended up on Team Jacob. I told her that vampires don't eat meat. If they do, they'll die. 

Tefft quickly announced that Team Edward would not be able to eat any turkey or ham in honor of vampires everywhere. 

Fernandez was on team Edward and Mulhausen was on Team Jacob. Mulhausen chuckled when Fernandez complained about this new rule. And of course, everyone on Team Edward complained. Tefft's announcement completely polarized both teams. How sweet it was...

Since Mulhausen hates Fernandez, he was adamant about enforcing the rule. Since Fernandez hates Mulhausen, he was adamant about defying the rule. And in that moment, Mulhausen and Fernandez transformed and actually became Jacob and Edward. Well, without the muscles. I knew this could only end one way and I wasn't disappointed.

Food fight... 

And then I realized that I was actually thankful for New Moon after all. Thankful because it pissed everyone off and made our Technology Potluck so memorable.

Reader Comments (4)

I hate that Twilight garbage. It gives all the women in the office a reason to act like stupid tweens again.

November 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

Eh, I say let 'em have it. Now that females have something that turns them into drooling bumbling fools, they won't have much of a leg to stand on when we ignore them next time Football or Ninja Turtles are on.

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

Matt: Now if they could just look like stupid tweens. (Better make that late teens. I'm not Polanski).

Nnamdi: They can definitely have it. And they can imagine I'm a fucking werewolf the next time we do it. Whatever gets them wet and into my bed.

December 3, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Hey Kid!! Have a Phuking amazing new year stranger nerd. Your still a nerd no matter how sexy you are. X

January 1, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterX

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