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« Meet Your Maker | Main | How to Sleep with Your Enemy & Still Remain Enemies »
Friday
Nov062009

The Problem with Nepotism

The problem with nepotism is that it makes it easier for people who want to kill you to become employed at the same company in which you work.

Kelsey's Angry Fiancé will be starting work at my company on Monday as a Brand Manager.  

I suppose I knew this all along, but Kelsey is not the sharpest tool in the shed. She is, however, a really hot piece of ass, which always outweighs.... Well, just about any other factor [reference How to Get Inside Your Enemy's Head (and Mouth)]. 

I asked Kelsey why she would help her angry fiancé get a job at our company. Forget about the fact that he wants to kill me-- she's still trying to fuck me on the side and now it's going to be that much more difficult to pull off with an angry fiancé in the same building all the live-long day. 

Her answer: I didn't think about that...

Kelsey's Angry Fiancé working at the same company presents several problems:

Now that third little item might have worked in my favor when Kelsey's Angry Fiancé didn't work at the company. But now, it's only a matter of time before they both figure out that I'm not who I said I was.

Kelsey has not figured it out yet only because, again, she's not the brightest bulb on the tree. But her angry fiancé will take no time at all, I'm sure.  

This may also raise some red flags for Blair. Especially when it becomes known that Kelsey does not, in fact, have a thing for Kornfeld. Blair does not need to be told that Kelsey has a thing for me; she just needs to know that Kelsey doesn't have a thing for anyone else. Because that puts me on the market for the new girl. 

Blair will be the least of my concerns. For once. I'm reasonably sure the new Brand Manager will not actually attempt to kill me. However, he may try to make my life a living hell once he figures out who I really am. 

Just when I break down the Berlin Wall of my arch enemy Fiona the Cunt, another one goes up. And I won't be able to fuck this wall down, I can tell you that right now.

He'll be in orientation on Monday which gives me one day of reprieve before the onslaught.  I guess I'd better come up with my counterattack. 

Fuck. 

Reader Comments (11)

I can create a diversion. You have my number when needed.

November 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

What a tangly, tangly web.

November 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBubbles von BonBon

Any blog post with a pic from Natural Born Killers in it is an automatic winner in my book.

November 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

Tech Babe: I'll need that tomorrow, thank you. All you have to do is make him believe the world has come to an end and he needs to hide in a bomb shelter for a year (ala Butters and Cartman, Casa Bonita episode).

bubbles von BonBon: Well, this is actually pretty straight forward: I'm a dead man.

Jeff: I wanted to depict the killer husband and wife combo. Which starting today, I'll be working with that very combo.

November 9, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Jason, I took out a life insurance policy on you, hope I win the lottery rather than collecting on your death ;)

November 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGstarene

Gstarene: So do I, my friend. So do I...

November 9, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Simple, get Blair to seduce him, or at least distract him. Kill two birds with one stone. I hope he's hot ... twitpic eh? =)

Once again living vicariously through you.

November 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterdaNanner

They will hire any raving lunatic won't they? Time to get transferred to another branch? You're good, but this is way too close for comfort.

November 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

daaNanner: Not Blair, that would just make me jealous. Maybe Chelsea the Intern. She's a professional, after all.

M: I can handle it. I never run from a good challenge. Even when it's trying to kill me.

November 10, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

M of course they hire every raving lunatic, they hired Jason didn't they?

You'd have to be a raving lunatic to do the shit Jason does.

November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJordan

Jordan: I wouldn't say I qualify for a "raving lunatic", especially after having gone through extensive Tree Therapy. I'd say I was more like a dysfunctional technology misfit with a death wish. Along those lines.

November 10, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

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