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« The Exorcism of Jason X | Main | Innocent by Reason of Insanity »


Now that I'm insane, I think I understand Blair's thought process even better than before. 

While most of my Users have come back to me after Fiona the Cunt's failed attempt to burn down the stable, Blair remains stubborn.

She remains stubborn because she believes Maricruz, who told Blair that I was fucking around with her after Fiona the Cunt told Maricruz I was also fucking around with Blair. 

Like the other Users, Blair believes that the only acceptable reason for me to fuck around is insanity. Unlike the others, Blair does not believe that I am insane.

The only way to get Blair to come back to me is to convince her that I'm insane. But the only way to convince her that I'm insane is to act as if I don't want her back. 

The problem is, Blair will never come back if she thinks I don't want her back. But if I do want her back, she'll know I'm sane and will also never come back. 

The classic Catch-22.

It gets more even more complicated. 

If Blair will only take me back because I'm truly insane, then that would also make her truly insane. No sane person would require insanity as a condition to be with someone. 

So the only way for Blair to prove her own sanity is to only take me back if I am not insane. But if I am not insane, I have no justifiable reason for fucking around with Maricruz. And if I have no justifiable reason for fucking around with Maricruz, she will never take me back.

So after much thought, I have come up with a solution.

The only way I can get Blair to take me back is to convince Blair that Maricruz is insane. 


Reader Comments (19)

yeah, if she is insane, then you are home free.
like an eagle.
or a dragon.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfr3dly

I think I too am going insane from trying to keep up with who is really insane and who is not insane in addition to when you are pretending that you are insane when you are not insane but pretending that you are insane...

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFar

You could just confuse her. I will explain using geeky terms... You have 2 boolean variables that can define the way you behave and act: the AreYouInsane variable and the DoYouWantBlair variable. Given that these vars become true or false randomly (for the eye of the beholder) your behaviour will be confusing at least.

Maybe Blair will want to make sure about what's happenning.

Am I making any sense?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

But the only way to convince her that I'm insane is to act as if I don't want her back.

A rational agent would not use that as a precondition for your insanity.

Also, I'm very satisfied that your catch-22 is actually a catch-22. People assigning that designation to simple things they just don't like very much or even more complicated paradoxes irritates me. But your writing is disorganized today.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFishy5

fr3dly: She is certifiably insane. I have no doubt.

Far: I am also confused now about my own sanity. Especially when I stand in a tree.

Mike: I'll have one of my programmers translate.

Fishy5: Thanks. I think.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I've been reading and re-reading this for two days and I'm still confused. I think I'm goin insane. In the end tho, the logic of making Blair think Maricruz is insane makes perfect sense. But then, this doesn't have anything to do with logic.

Owwww, my head...

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShoe

Oh man your logistics always astound and entertain me. But here's an interesting thought...and feel free to berate me if it's a dumb idea. Do you think making Blair think Maricruz is insane may give them the final push to have that..experimenting experience?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

I'm with Far and Shoe on this one: confused. And possibly insane myself now.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

Sometimes a girl needs to be free AND insane and looks for someone just as insane to run and be free with, without truly exposing her own insanity. What the fuck did I just say? (I stole that from somewhere.)


February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Shoe: I just re-read it myself and it still makes perfect sense. Maybe I am insane.

Nnamdi: We can only hope. Or maybe help with the pushing.

Far, Sabina, Tech Babe: Sorry to drive you all insane with this post, but apparently insanity loves company.

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I agree with Shoe, my head hurts too

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

O.K., how sad is it that I can follow both Jason's thought process, and Blair's, and NOT have a headache?

Jason, you and Blair were meant for each other, and she will only be truly insane if she leaves her hub for you. I don't think you can convince Blair that Maricruz is insane, but you could start driving Maricruz insane the way you tried to drive Fernandez insane.

Yeah, I think that makese sense.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterdaNanner

Mine does too. But a good kind of hurt. I guess that's what insanity is.

DaNanner: You're the only one. Besides Blair, that is. Because you seem to think like Blair.... If I try to drive Maricruz insane, HR will think I'm even more insane than they thought I was when I tried to drive Fernandez insane, and I will probably end up behind bars in a straight jacket.

March 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

You'll have to be more discreet about driving Maricruz insane. Or ... come up with some devious way to get Blair to do it since she's so possessive to begin with. I bet if you worded it the right way you could get her to do just about anything for you. Just don't be obvious about manipulating her.

March 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdananner

daNanner: That's actually a very good idea. And something Blair would suggest I do. Which is kind of odd. But remember the original plan. I'm not trying to drive Maricruz insane; I just need to make Blair think Maricruz is insane so that she doesn't need to think I'm insane. If she thinks Maricruz is insane, she won't believe what Maricruz said about hooking up with me.

Simple, right?

March 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

Is it wrong that this all made perfect sense to me? It's how Jason always gets Blair back, manipulate a situation in his favor that will distract Blair and that way she can't blame him.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

M: Then I'm impressed. Or you may be similar to Blair. Or you may be Blair. Hmmm.

September 16, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

No no no, I am definitely not Blair. Unlike, her I fully aware that I am insane.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

M: Ah, good distinction...

September 17, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

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