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« Fire Drill Friday the 13th | Main | Therapy is Working »
Tuesday
Mar102009

Una

Una is insane. 

Not the kind of insane I am, which is sane. Not the kind of insane Blair is, which is painfully insane. Not the kind of insane Bonnie Bod is, which is scary insane. 

Una is a good insane.

The kind of insane that pumps blood into your cock. 

We went to a dive bar last night that has a long bar and then a section to the side with couches. Since mostly bar flies frequent this bar, the bar itself was packed, but the couches were empty. We sat on a couch.

When I ask a woman out for drinks and she shows up wearing a skirt, I always assume she's insuring easy access. In other words, she's already decided to make things convenient. If a woman shows up in jeans, she's interested but does not intend to take it further than drinks that particular night. 

Una was wearing a short skirt.

I asked her what her actual job was and she said she worked for a hedge company; I said, Enough said. I told her that I was in technology; she said, Enough said.

That was the extent of our small talk.

I don't like to beat around the bush (no pun intended), so I asked her what kind of panties she was wearing, thinking I was being blatantly forward.

She reached up her skirt, wiggled out of her panties and dropped them in my lap.

Black lacy thong panties. 

I love good insane.

I thought of doing something really perverted at that moment, but she beat me to the punch.

"Smell them," she said.

I stared at her wide-eyed, full of glee.

I love good insane because it's usually good and perverted.

I took a whiff. Whatever that perfume was, it ignited a flurry of endorphins.  

"I did that for you," she said. 

We both had dirty martinis, which went quick. We then went to the bar and ordered Patron Silver shots. She hopped up on the end of the bar, her ass facing the line up of bar flies. She told me to do a body shot off her cleavage, which I of course immediately did. We got cheers.

We then got another couple of dirty martinis and plopped back down on the couches.

"Let me tell you about hedge funding," she said.

This didn't seem right. This couldn't be where we were at after panty sniffing and body shots.

"A hedge fund is an investment fund open..."

She spread her legs just enough to give me a glimpse.

"... to a limited range of investors that is permitted by regulators to undertake a wider..."

She spread her legs a little wider.

"... range of activities..."

She licked her red lips.

"... than other investment funds and also pays a performance fee..."

She put my hand on her upper thigh.

"... to its investment manager. Each fund will have its own strategy..."

She moved my hand higher up her thigh.

"... which determines the type of investments and the methods of investment it undertakes."

She moved my hand up her skirt.

"Hedge funds as a class invest in a broad range of investments extending..."

She then placed her hand in my crotch and to confirm I was extending.

"... over shares, debt, and commodities."

I never thought hedging could be so fucking interesting.

We were both ready to go. Una already had a place in mind. A woman after my own heart... 

We fucked in the therapy tree.

..

Reader Comments (15)

I've heard that therapy opens things up to a world of possibilities...

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsfitznham

As I always say..."I do crazy well."

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

So, uh...this therapy tree. Why this tree and not the 'tree sex' tree in the park? And if you have sex in the therapy tree, is it now a 'sex therapy' tree? If not, was it sex therapy you were having in the therapy tree, or was it just sex? And was it any good?

Now look at this inkblot. *\*/* Does it remind you of the tree sex tree or the therapy tree?

As you can see, I'm still insane over "It's the DEB-IL!", because there's only one question out of the five above I'd actually be interested in hearing your answer to, lol.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShoe

JasonX - the sniffing hedge spawn

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I've always been a fan of good insane.

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

She sounds like a Cock Fight kinda girl, I like her already.....

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHoney

THAT'S HOT! :)

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeg

Clarification on dressing for a date, from personal experience: if I wear a skirt, I might fuck you right there in the bar or restaurant, before we even to my or your apartment. If I wear tight jeans, I'm waiting to fuck you...until we get home.

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

Methinks that next time I'm in the area I need a tour of all these special trees and fun places. Oh yes.

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

Msfiztnham: Yes, something definitely got opened up.

Tech Babe: You said, "do". I'm crazy.

Shoe: It was great.

Jen: Sniff sniff.

Nnamdi: You and me both.

Honey: Then I like you.

Peg: Very. VERY.

Sabina: I love you.

Ash: I'm your tour guide.

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I'm so glad you finally got to her. Yay!

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPFont

Love you too!
Also, I just realized I omitted a word in my last comment. Sorry.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSabina

Mr. X, I meant the inkblot question ;)

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShoe

hey thats a pic of my ex lol she was born with them knickers there lol

March 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterscottie humor

Yep I'm in love with Una. I used to work for a bunch of hedge fund investors and they were some fun people. Keep her around for sure!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

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