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« Delusional | Main | The Return of Blair »

Jesus and His Easter Eggs

On Thursday, Tefft decided to put on a little Easter celebration for the department. The theme, of course, was Jesus and His Easter Eggs. 

Eric Goldman, a Tech Lead on Gladstone's team, asked Tefft if we'd be celebrating Passover as well for the Jewish employees. Tefft said, "Don't you think God regrets letting the Angel of Death pass over the Jews after what they did to our Lord and Savior?"

Goldman took that as a "No." 

Tefft organized an Easter Egg hunt for the department as well. Her team spent most of Wednesday coloring eggs. The Network was down for two hours before anyone could find the Network team, who was finally discovered in the Test Lab hiding from Tefft so that they wouldn't have to color any more eggs. 

The egg hunt was to begin at 9:00 a.m. So Tefft started hiding the eggs at 8:00 a.m. Both Fernandez and Mulhausen started hunting for eggs at 8:15 a.m. Both were determined to find more eggs than the other. 

Tefft scolded both of them for starting early. But both continued hunting. Fernandez started following Tefft, watching and waiting, and then snatching up the eggs she had just hidden. 

Mulhausen called Fernandez and cheater and suddenly got two hard boiled eggs thrown at him. Mulhausen fired back and it immediately turned into paint ball with Easter eggs. 

People started arriving at work around 8:45 a.m. ready  for the Easter hunt, only to find multi-colored egg shells all over the floor and cubicles and the remnants of hard boiled egg scattered everywhere. By this time both Mulhausen and Fernandez were in their offices brooding behind closed doors. 

Those two really know how to bring out the spirit of an occasion. 

At lunch time, Tefft and her team reenacted the Last Supper to explain why Easter is celebrated with colored eggs. 

Tefft played Jesus, McKinney played Peter, and Gladstone played Judas, albeit against his will. He complained that the only reason Tefft wanted him to play Judas the traitor was because Gladstone is African American. Tefft said, "No, it's because Judas the traitor was African American. I'm just trying to reenact this the way it really was."

According to Tefft's rendition of the Last Supper, the waiter at the restaurant delivered rabbit as the main course. Jesus scolded the waiter for harming a cute little bunny like that and told him to take it away. "Now bring me some chicken and fish," he said.

Then Jesus explained the nature of religion:

"Religion is a mysterious thing. Nobody knows how it works or how one can be saved. So I will reveal this process to you today figuratively in the form of a game: I have two colored eggs hidden under my cloak. If you can guess what color my eggs are, you will be saved in the kingdom of God."

Everyone guessed at least one color correctly except the black man. 

And that's why we celebrate Easter with cute little bunnies and colored eggs. Today we try to find the eggs because the more we find, the more likely it is we'll get into heaven. 

Happy Easter.


Reader Comments (7)

Damn! And here I am, all out of eggs...

April 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsfitznham

What cracks me up the most is that one of the tags for this blog is "racist". Haha good stuff.

April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNnamdi

Msfitznham: You need to go on an Easter egg hunt. Find some eggs, they're hidden all over.

Nnamdi: Hmmmm. Maybe that should have been "racism".

April 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason X

I colored hard boiled eggs for Easter. I also made sure there were many profanities written on them. It was fun.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

I have the easter bunny caged, he was to lazy to deliver eggs.

April 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSaroya Poirier

Ash: Good one. I should have hidden profane eggs in the neighbor's yard and watched their egg hunt the next day. Damn.

Saroya: Spank him. Maybe he'll deliver next time.

April 16, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

That was my idea...but the peeps I was doing it with wouldn't let me. :( At least I made an Easter egg that said Fuck on it. :D

April 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

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