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« Kessler Got Penguined | Main | Team Building »
Saturday
Aug012009

John Yaya

I hired an I.T. manager on Friday who has absolutely no experience in I.T.

He comes from the gaming industry; although he doesn't have I.T. experience, his producer skills more or less equate to project management skills. 

Regardless, I didn't hire him to manage projects. I hired him to fuck with Gladstone

His name is John. I call him Yaya after John Yaya from Buckaroo Banzai

Gladstone has grown tired of our daily tasks, which were intended as punishment for the Bonnie Bod/Smithee incident. He believes he has paid his penance. However, the prisons would be empty if we let the guilty decide the duration of their own sentences. 

Neither Kessler nor I felt his sins had been absolved. So I decided to hire someone to carry out the rest of his punishment since I could no longer count on willing participation. 

Yaya is a dick. But a subtle dick. The kind that can needle in under your skin and irritate you to the point of lunacy. I know this because he comes highly recommended by Giselle the Recruiter. She said that he had been kicked out of the gaming industry for his subtle but consistent dickness. Apparently, he managed to piss off enough people in that industry that nobody wanted to work with him anymore. 

Perfect.

He started on Friday so that his insurance would kick in starting August 1. I had him start right in on Gladstone as well. 

Friday is a good day for the Test Lab. So I invited Yaya to join us, given games are his specialty--and Gladstone would be there.

Gladstone likes to talk shit while we're killing each other playing Half-Life. And he likes talking shit about everyone's wife. So at the opportune time, Yaya said something about stopping off at Gladstone's house during lunch to give his wife something to eat. Apparently, she's a big fan of sausage. 

Gladstone got pissed. Funny thing is, Yaya wasn't even trying to piss him off yet. He was just following suit and talking wife shit like Gladstone had done to everyone else in the room.

Gladstone said, "I don't know you well enough yet for you to be talking about my wife, asshole."

We were all surprised. 

Yaya's expression seemed truly apologetic. But then:

"How about your sister?" he asked.

Let the games begin. 

Reader Comments (9)

Well played my friend. Well played....

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatches Malone

Oh This is going to be GREAT!!! Um, My loyalty to Gladstone notwithstanding. Heh.

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsfitznham

Did he slug him? Tell me he slugged him - and you got it on video, of course.

If he didn't, may I offer a suggestion about starting a pool as to when a physical altercation may occur - most likely for internet bragging rights as I don't think that many of your coworkers know Smithee's not real, which is what this whole thing's about.

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMischif

Sounds like my meeting with the Dicks. Now THIS will get interesting!

August 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

Matches: I believe good hiring always starts with personal gain.

Msfitznham: Yeah, I like him too. But there is still a penance to pay...

Mischif: No, didn't slug him. We restrained Gladstone. Another pool is always a good idea...

Tech Babe: Dick dick dick dick dick dick dick (Quote from "Reservoir Dogs")

August 1, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Gotta love a guy that can't take what he dishes out.
Hope this works out and Yaya doesn't turn on ya.

August 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjasoninhell

haha dam!!! now thats just awesome!

August 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhyperkind

Jasoninhell: Nah, I have a good feeling about Yaya. He won't turn. He's like a loyal dog.

Hyperkind: It should be. We'll see...

August 3, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Hahahaha I almost feel sorry for Gladstone because you admiring Yaya's balls-busting technique means he's a piece of work.
Well, almost...This is too much fun. And I don't advocate disloyalty. Off with his mind I say.

August 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Troy

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