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« Tough Economy | Main | Kelsey's Angry Fiance »

Blameless Again

Kornfeld is surprised that he's suddenly getting anonymous death threats for having apparently fucked another man's fiancée.

However, I am not surprised at all. 

Since Kornfeld is Blair's boss, she found out about the anonymous death threats and told me because I had told her that Kelsey was interested in Kornfeld, even though she's engaged. 

Blair thought Kelsey was interested in me until her spies confirmed that Kelsey was telling people that she was interested in Kornfeld. 

Kelsey was interested in Kornfeld because I told her before she was hired that I was the Director of Finance. I told her this because I thought it would get me laid. 

It did get me laid and also got me off the hook for fucking another man's fiancée. 

Unfortunately for Kornfeld, the whole thing has sort of fucked him over. 

Blair is surprised because she never thought Kornfeld would cheat on his wife. She's actually right about that because Kornfeld is a work-a-holic and doesn't have time to fuck around with anyone, including his wife. 

So because of me, Kornfeld, who has done nothing wrong, will have: 

  • Rumors circulating about him cheating on his wife 
  • A jealous mad man tracking him down to murder him

I can't say I feel guilty about this. 

Finance is the arch enemy to I.T. So even though this unfortunate turn of events for Kornfeld was an accident, it's actually something I would have done on purpose under other circumstances. 

What surprises me the most is that Kelsey still believes that I am Kornfeld. 

I told her not to call or email me; only text me messages. And I told her not to come by my office, otherwise people would talk. Unfortunately for Kelsey, people will talk because of Blair. Fortunately for me, they will be talking about Kelsey and Kornfeld, not Kelsey and me. 

I can't say I feel guilty about this.

Kelsey is marrying a mad man by choice and this is a taste of things to come. 

Once again, I really haven't done anything wrong here. At least, that's the appearance. And in fact, I can continue to have sex with Kelsey without fear of being killed or accused of cheating on Blair. Or my wife, for that matter, which of course is secondary. 

I must have done something right in a previous life. 

Reader Comments (7)

you Snidley Whiplash, you

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterilai

I forgot about the Director of Finance bit. Good job on the CYA there.

September 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterdaNanner

Ilai: I'm more like the Joker. I don't really plan things out so well, they just happen.

daNanner: Yeah, didn't really mean to, but ploys to get laid apparently have other benefits.

September 24, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

Bravo Mr. X, bravo...

September 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFar

The plot thickens.

September 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergstarene

Trickery is on your side. Karma fears you. Some guys have all the luck!

September 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTech Babe

TB: Bad things happen. I just tend to know how to turn them into good things.

September 26, 2009 | Registered CommenterJason X

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