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us·er pool [yü-zer pül] 

In the world of technology, a User is someone who uses a computer. More specifically, it's someone who asks stupid questions about the use of that computer.

In the context of this blog, a Pool refers to an available supply, the use of which is shared by a group.

At one of the largest entertainment companies in Los Angeles, my job is to provide technical direction and support to these users, many of whom are female. That's where things get a little messy...

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Entries in ssex with a co-worker (2)

Monday
May102010

Blair is Suspicious

Blair is suspicious because she thinks I'm not fucking other women in the company. Whenever she thinks I'm not fucking other women in the company is when she's most suspicious that I am fucking other women in the company.  Because she knows that if I were fucking other women in the company, she'd be the last to find out. 

So she came down to I.T. today for a little snap inspection. She did not know we hired a new temp. She took one look at Aimee the Temp and now believes that I'm fucking at least one other woman in the company.

If a hot temp starts working in I.T., Blair expects me to inform her immediately. If I do not inform her immediately, she believes it's because I'm trying to fuck the new temp. However, if I do inform her immediately that a hot temp has started working in I.T., she immediately knows that I think the new temp is hot, and therefore, I will try to fuck her anyway. 

There is no way to win at this game.

But the worst thing about Aimee the Temp is the fact that her tits are huge. 

Blair knows that she is the most beautiful woman in this company and always will be. And I agree that it would be very difficult to top Blair. But Blair knows that beauty is not always the deciding factor, even though it should be.

Blair knows that bigger tits will cloud men's judgment on the matter. And even though she is the most beautiful woman in the company, there are those who will get more attention than her because they have bigger tits. Like Aimee the Temp.

Blair stormed into my office like a pissed off badger. I asked Jason Y to give us a minute. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or the natural disposition of a Finance manager. So Jason Y was more than happy to leave the room.

I've been dealing with Blair long enough to know exactly how to handle with this minor crisis.

I immediately disclosed the fact that Jason Y was going out with Aimee the Temp.

This is called, The Deflection.

Jason Y is a nice guy, which is why Blair has no interest in him. But if he starts dating a girl with bigger tits than her, she suddenly has interest.

"Why the fuck would he go out with her?" she snarled.

I couldn't think of one reason. But I could think of two.

"She looks like a little whore," Blair said. 

She acts like a little whore too. Monkey sex like you wouldn't believe.

"Well, I just lost respect for Jason Y," she said.

The truth is, she just gained respect for Jason Y. Nice guys don't fuck around with girls with big tits. Because the girls with big tits are too busy fucking around with guys like me. But if he is fucking around with her, that makes him seem more like a guy like me. And Blair likes guys like me. 

Well, the deflection worked. Except for the fact that Blair will now try to fuck around with Jason Y. 

My genius is my detriment. 

Monday
Oct272008

Lunch with Lissa and Her Tits

I had lunch today with Lissa the SOX auditor. I noticed her double Ds speak very loudly, even in public. 

Some tits talk softly. Some tits don't talk at all (but that's rare). Some tits talk dirty (like Giselle's perky tits from the vendor lunch). But Lissa's tits are big and loud.

I couldn't hear Lissa speak because her double Ds were so in-my-face blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to smack them. And I'm pretty sure they said they wanted to smack me.

At one point Lissa's double Ds became offended because I wouldn't look at them while I was speaking to them. This sort of thing always puts me in somewhat of a predicament with women. This is because women do not like it when you speak to their breasts. They find it rude. On the other hand, breasts also find it rude when you won't look at them even though you are speaking directly to them.  

And when tits are this loud, it's difficult to ignore them. 

I decided to speak to both Lissa and her double Ds at the same time so as not to create confusion, jealousy or ill-will. So instead of just staring at one or the other, I let my eyes "work the room" so to speak.

Surprisingly, they all seemed to enjoy that. No one was offended and everyone felt special. Like I was interested in all of them, not just the tits and not just Lissa. 

By the end of the lunch, there was no more talk of SOX but a clear committment to have a drink after work sometime. All three of us.

Sometime very soon. 

I like this new strategy they have with the SOX auditors. They definitely have my attention.