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us·er pool [yü-zer pül] 

In the world of technology, a User is someone who uses a computer. More specifically, it's someone who asks stupid questions about the use of that computer.

In the context of this blog, a Pool refers to an available supply, the use of which is shared by a group.

At one of the largest entertainment companies in Los Angeles, my job is to provide technical direction and support to these users, many of whom are female. That's where things get a little messy...

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Entries in sympathy sex (2)

Wednesday
Oct152008

Cleaning the Pipes

I've been cleaning the pipes today in preparation for Friday's out-patient surgery

That means, lunch with Lucia at the park and tree sex. That was interesting right in the middle of the day. She was wearing a skirt and the bark scratched up her ass. Good luck explaining to Alan, the love of her life.

Blendi the Unvirgin had to give my balls a good-bye kiss in the car in the garage this morning. Even though she's not a virgin anymore, she's still sweet and gives the best blow jobs ever.

Zenda the Persian, a.k.a. the Office Slut, actually had sex with me on my desk this afternoon. That's what Office Sluts do; they have sex with multiple people in the office and in multiple offices. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. Oh, wait. I'm a guy. Never mind...

Tonight I have Athena the Lesbian. She wants to give my balls a going away party. I assured her that they weren't going anywhere. She said, sure they're not and gave me that you poor man in denial look. This is not castration. It's a simple out-patient procedure. Everything remains intact.

Right?

Well, in case it doesn't, I'm sure getting in as much as I can while I can. I hope I have enough "stamina" for Athena the Lesbian after a full day of exertion.

Blair is set for tomorrow night. She thinks I'm doing this for her--so that she doesn't have to worry about these false alarms. But I'm actually doing it for myself so I don't have to worry about her making shit up just to freak me out. She knows she's not pregnant when she announces the possibility, that little fucking bitch.

We'll have a beautiful night together.

Since she believes I'm cutting into my balls for her, she'll act like I'm all sweet and shit--and fuck me like a banshee.

So overall, I'd have to say this is better than sympathy sex. Or is it sympathy sex?

Since I lost the sling, sympathy has dwindled. Sex hasn't, but the sympathy has.

Well, I guess it's about time for Athena the Lesbian.

Here's to you, balls.

Wednesday
Sep102008

Sympathy Sex

I've found that having my arm in a sling gets me a lot of sympathy sex. 

Even women I haven't hooked up with in a while are stopping by just to give me that sympathetic look and rub my thigh a little. Next think I know, we're playing ring toss in the parking garage. It's not easy to maneuver with one arm, but it's definitely doable.

Brandi stopped by on Monday. Melanie on Tuesday. These are the two women who have maintained a healthy distance for months because they thought I had become suicidal. And since they believed I was suicidal, they somehow believed I would find a way to commit suicide while having sex with them. Apparently they have no interest in fucking a dead man.

Zenda the Persian also stopped by today. We started having an affair because I thought she would not have an affair with me because I believed she was having an affair with her boss Rusbridge. I made a bet with Gladstone that I would not be able to sleep with her because she would not double fuck at work otherwise she would be considered the office slut. I lost that bet when she fucked me senseless. Turns out she was not having an affair with Rusbridge, so she was free to fuck me without fear of being dubbed the office slut.

Oddly enough, she quickly stopped having sex with me so that she could have sex with her boss Rusbridge who found out there was a rumor that he was having sex with his employee. He pulled her into his office to assure her that he did not start that rumor and that the idea was completely ridiculous anyway. She was offended that he thought the idea was ridiculous, so he made it up to her by fucking her.

She then told me that she could no longer have sex with me because she was now having sex with her boss and could not double fuck at work. I told her I understood and then I tried to get my money back from Gladstone. He said that Zenda the Persian's affair with her boss was ex post facto and therefore the loss was nonrefundable.

Zenda the Persian had sympathy sex with me in my office today. So she's now doublefucking at work which makes her the office slut.

I also saw Blair today in the hallway. She gave me neither the fuck me look nor the fuck you look. It was a look I'd never seen before. It was just sort of a blank stare. But she was mainly looking at my arm in a sling. We didn't speak at all. She just looked at me and my sling in that weird way.

Not to worry. I heard she's hooking up with Szymanski on Friday for drinks. Perfect. That ends it for good. I'm hooking up with Athena the Lesbian on Friday too. If all goes well, we'll run into each other and that will seal the deal forever.