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us·er pool [yü-zer pül] 

In the world of technology, a User is someone who uses a computer. More specifically, it's someone who asks stupid questions about the use of that computer.

In the context of this blog, a Pool refers to an available supply, the use of which is shared by a group.

At one of the largest entertainment companies in Los Angeles, my job is to provide technical direction and support to these users, many of whom are female. That's where things get a little messy...

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Entries in unplanned pregnancy (2)

Wednesday
Oct152008

Cleaning the Pipes

I've been cleaning the pipes today in preparation for Friday's out-patient surgery

That means, lunch with Lucia at the park and tree sex. That was interesting right in the middle of the day. She was wearing a skirt and the bark scratched up her ass. Good luck explaining to Alan, the love of her life.

Blendi the Unvirgin had to give my balls a good-bye kiss in the car in the garage this morning. Even though she's not a virgin anymore, she's still sweet and gives the best blow jobs ever.

Zenda the Persian, a.k.a. the Office Slut, actually had sex with me on my desk this afternoon. That's what Office Sluts do; they have sex with multiple people in the office and in multiple offices. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. Oh, wait. I'm a guy. Never mind...

Tonight I have Athena the Lesbian. She wants to give my balls a going away party. I assured her that they weren't going anywhere. She said, sure they're not and gave me that you poor man in denial look. This is not castration. It's a simple out-patient procedure. Everything remains intact.

Right?

Well, in case it doesn't, I'm sure getting in as much as I can while I can. I hope I have enough "stamina" for Athena the Lesbian after a full day of exertion.

Blair is set for tomorrow night. She thinks I'm doing this for her--so that she doesn't have to worry about these false alarms. But I'm actually doing it for myself so I don't have to worry about her making shit up just to freak me out. She knows she's not pregnant when she announces the possibility, that little fucking bitch.

We'll have a beautiful night together.

Since she believes I'm cutting into my balls for her, she'll act like I'm all sweet and shit--and fuck me like a banshee.

So overall, I'd have to say this is better than sympathy sex. Or is it sympathy sex?

Since I lost the sling, sympathy has dwindled. Sex hasn't, but the sympathy has.

Well, I guess it's about time for Athena the Lesbian.

Here's to you, balls.

Monday
Oct062008

Snip Snip

I know I've said this before.... I'm getting a vasectomy.

Which I'm sure my wife will find interesting since we haven't had sex for over a year.

Blair believes she is pregnant again. And since she believes my sperm is stronger than her husband's sperm, she again believes that if she is pregnant, the baby is mine.

I again believe that if she is pregnant, the baby is not mine. I believe this again for no other reason than I don't want the baby to be mine.

However, Blair is again not pregnant. Blair is on the pill. The pill is not 100% effective, but it's pretty damn close. And she's so meticulous and paranoid about it, I guarantee she has not missed a day. 

But even so, her paranoia makes me nervous. When I get nervous, I lose focus. When I lose focus, I fuck up. And when I fuck up... Well, I just blame someone else. But the bottom line is, I can't keep going through this shit with Blair. To put an end to it, I need to eliminate the possibility of her becoming paranoid about getting pregnant by me by getting a vasectomy. Not to mention all the other women I sleep with that could potentially use my sperm against me. 

It's time to go under the knife. This time, I mean it. Really. For sure this time. Really.

I've decided the thing I fear the most is not the actual operation. It's the preparation for  the operation. Of the inject, cut and burn, it's the inject I fear the most. That's the local anesthesia...

Local means anesthetizing the exact location in which they intend to operate. Anesthesia means an injection with a needle.

So they intend to stick a big ass needle into my balls. Twice. 

That's the part I just can't seem to get past. I mean, sure, they're going to cut my balls open and yank and twist and cut and solder. And sure, that doesn't sound inviting, but at least my balls are numb by then.

The problem I have is before my balls become numb--they're going to stick a big ass needle into them. Twice. 

Well, it's got to be done. 

Blair is not pregnant again even though she again thinks she is pregnant. And even though she again thinks she's pregnant, she again won't take the test to again prove she is not pregnant. This is because she believes that if she's not pregnant now, by taking the test she will somehow become pregnant. So the best way to prove she's not pregnant is to not take the test.

I'm going to call my doctor and make an appointment for a vasectomy as soon as he can get me in.