Blair: Finance Manager. Hispanic; 100% psychotic. But the most beautiful and sexually alluring woman I have ever met. I am obsessed with her. We break up and get back together almost every day.

Kristy: Plotkin's Assistant. Irish (Blond); hot like a Maxim girl, dumb as a post. 

Lucia: Analyst in Accounting. Filipino; very religious. Will not have sex with me because she will not commit adultery. She will, however, let me sodomize her; that apparently does not qualify as cheating.  

Melanie: Sr. Web Designer. Asian (Korean); timid and little bit psychotic. 

Brandi: Marketing Manager. Asian (Chinese/Japanese); smart and professional with a nice kinky streak. 

Shannon: Licensing Coordinator. Latina from Guatemala. Just wants to have fun. Which is why her husband wants to kill any man who has fun with her.

Athena the Lesbian: Graphic Artist. Dark hair, dark eyes, very striking. Greek. She's a Lesbian but only attracted to men. This is because she's a Greek Lesbian from the Greek island of Lesbos.

Blendi the (Un)Virgin: Licensing Coordinator. Cute, light skin and dark hair. She was a virgin at the Christmas party where she blew me after a debacle of an evening. She later lost her virginity on camera to Conklin so that I could have sex with her without her becoming attached to me for taking her virginity.

Chelsea the Intern: Chelsea the Prostitute became my Intern after she followed me back to work one morning after Gladstone didn't pay her for her services at a strip club. He told her that I would pay her, which I refused to do. She then became my intern providing her services at the office and giving me a cut to be her pimp.

Maricruz: Marketing Coordinator for International Marketing. Hot Mexican girl. Married. Sweet, adorable, very sexy. At odds with Blair, but then they became friends. I tried to orchestrate a lesbian encounter, but failed. Now Blair believes Maricruz is insane because Maricruz pretended to believe I was insane.